#jefferson imagines

[itsmarsss]

cool. [Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(from the vault)

You start working as a babysitter for the Heffleys, but a certain someone seems to be bugging his parents to go out more often. Why?

Words: 6,164

Warnings: like one slight sexual/porn innuendo

[. . .]

"What do you mean someone to watch me?” Greg yelled, exhasperated.

Rodrick laughed out loud at the whole situation. “Wait is little Greg here getting a babysitter?”

“Yes, and she starts tomorrow night," their mom replied, matter-of-factly.

“Mom, I’m in seventh grade! I don’t need a babysitter!”

“We’d believe it if the last time we left the two of you alone you hadn’t directly disobeyed the only thing we told you not to do and thrown a party while we were gone," their dad explained.

“Wait. Mom. So I don’t have to watch him? Like ever again?”

“No but you should be ashamed of the reason why-”

“Hell yeah!”

“Rodrick-” He was already up the stairs on the way to his room. She sighed. 

“Mom you can’t do this to me. Do you know how bad it'll be if the guys in my grade find out you got me a babysitter?”

“They’re not gonna find out, sweetie.” She patted his head.

“And it’s not negotiable.”

“What your dad said.”

"Dad!”

“I’m sorry, kid! But if it makes you feel better, since Rodrick will be here and we’re getting a babysitter because we can’t leave the two of you alone, she’s teeechnically his babysitter too, right?”

“It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I tried," he shrugged.

“Where are you two even going tomorrow?”

“We’re having dinner! " Susan exclaimed, excited to talk about it. "Alone, finally, because-”

“Wait couldn't she technically be Manny’s babysitter then?”

“Thank you for caring so much about what I had to say, son.” She sighed once again. “She’s not Manny’s babysitter because Manny’s gonna stay with your grandma.”

Greg huffed and made a point to be extremely loud when stumping upstairs to his room, immediately getting cornered by Rodrick. 

“So… a babysitter, huh? And I thought your seventh grade couldn’t get any worse.”

“D´you think it’ll be that bad?”

“Dude they probably got you an old lady who smells like a museum whos gonna make you eat soup at like five PM and sleep at seven.”

Greg widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, worried at the thought of what his brother was making him imagine. “You think?”

“Yup. And I’m not even talking about the total humiliation it's gonna be if someone your age finds out.”

“Crap.”

“Good luck with that.” Rodrick was obviously enjoying the mere thought of the torture that was going to follow.

. . .

“A babysitter?” Rowley asked, rather loudly. Greg quickly put his hand over his best friend's mouth. 

“Dude! Can you be quiet?”

“Hmmph!” Rowley tried to protest.

Greg released his hand from over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“Why do I need to be quiet?”

“Because I don’t want anybody to know!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Rowley!”

Rowley just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be embarrassed. A babysitter sounds fun! Maybe she’ll read you bedtime stories! And play board games with you!”

Greg just looked at him incredulously. “Just don’t say anything about this to anyone., okay?"

Rowley suddenly started to look really nervous. “You know I can’t lie…”

“It’s not lying! It’s just not mentioning it! No one’s gonna ask about it.”

“Okay. Fine.” He didn't seem that sure about it, but Greg knew he'd try his best.

. . .

You took in a sharp breath before knocking on the front door. It took no time for it to be sprung open, and you were greeted by a smiling Mrs. Heffley. You retributed the smile. 

“Hi Mrs. Heffley!”

“Hey, sweetie! How are you?” She asked as she ushered you into the house, startling you when she closed the door behind you as you walked in. 

“I’m alright! How about you guys? Your dress looks so pretty!”

“Oh my God, thank you! You know it’s been ages since I’ve worn a pretty dress to go out, you can’t trust three kids with a pretty dress, they're always gonna ruin it.”

“Oh God that must be hell,” you laughed along with her. “Where are you guys headed tonight?”

“Looking forward to having dinner in peace,” she laughed again. “Manny!” she yelled suddenly, startling you yet again.

A little boy walked in in his diapers, holding his pants up with both hands. 

“Manny can you just please put on your pants?” Mr. Heffley followed the kid around, frustratedly asking him for what you assumed must have been at leat a fourth time to put his pants on, judging by the tone in his voice and the sigh that accompanied it.

“No!”

“Manny!” Ms. Heffley yelled yet again. The kid did what he was supposed to.

“Um I didn’t- is Manny gonna be staying with me tonight?”

“No! No,” she laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re taking him to my mother’s house.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” You tried to let out how relieved you were. Little kids were a whole other level of difficult, specially at Manny's age.

“Darling are you ready?” Susan asked her husband.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Greg!” she yelled again.

“What?” The boy yelled back from his room upstairs. 

“Y/n’s here! Come say hi!”

“Who’s y/n?”

“Your babysitter!”

He came downstairs. Very slowly. “Mom I already-” He stopped.  “You’re not an old lady!"

“Gregory! We don't say that to people! What is that about?"

“I’m sorry! I meant- Rodrick told me my babysitter was gonna be an old lady who smelled like a museum."

"Of course he did," Mr. Heffley said, under his breath.

You pretended to smell yourself. “I think I might smell more like an art gallery maybe,” you joked.

“I’m so sorry about this."

“It’s fine, Mrs. Heffley! Don’t worry about it. Now you two go have some fun, alright? Come on."

“Yeah! Okay. Right. There’s money on the table, you can order whatever you want for dinner the kids will eat whatever. Just grab the money before Rodrick comes downstairs or he's gonna pocket it. If you need anything you can call, okay? Really, anything.”

“Don’t worry about it! I promise I’ll call if anything happens! But I think we’re just gonna stay and eat some food and watch some movies, right Greg?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Please be nice, Greg. Oh and if Rodrick bothers you tell him I said he’ll be grounded if I hear he's not letting you work alright?"

“Sure thing! Thank you. Now go!” You joked, pretending to send them off.

. . .

You and Greg had both sat down on the couch in the living room.

“So. You’re not an old lady.”

“Nope.”

“Are you in high school?”

“Yes I am.”

“What grade are you in?"

“I’m a senior!”

“Oh. Rodrick’s a senior too.”

“Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen him around though.”

“Lucky.”

“Why’s that?”

“He makes my life hell!”

“Well don’t you make his life hell at least a tiny little bit?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

“That’s just your job.”

“Trust me no girls like him.”

“Whatever, Heffley. So what do you wanna do?”

“Can we play video games?”

“Depends on what you have.”

“Apocalypse of The Damned?”

“I have never heard of that in my entire life.”

“You’re gonna like it I swear!”

“Alright. But you have to bring me the money your mom left on the table, I’m gonna order us some pizza.”

“Deal!” He ran out to the kitchen, getting back with the money in no time.

. . .

“Hey I was thinking. Can my friend sleep over?” Greg asked, obviously having been preparing himself to do so for the past few minutes, while furiously hitting buttons on his controller as you scrolled through your phone, having gotten tired of playing at that point. 

“Um. Is your friend gonna give me any trouble?”

“No! You can- you can trust us.”

“Is he annoying?”

He seemed to take his time to think of an answer. “A little. But he’s pretty cool.”

“Fine, I’ll ask your mom.”

You clicked on Mrs. Heffley’s contact name. 

hi mrs heffley

how's the date going? im sorry to interrupt

You didn't even have the time to finish writing the next text before she was calling you. You picked it up.

“Is everything okay?” Susan asked, clearly worried.

“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine, you don't have to worry! I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, Greg wanted a friend to stay over and I just wanted to see if that’s okay with you.”

“Is it Rowley?”

“Sorry?”

“The friend, is it Rowley?”

“Is it Rowley?” You asked Greg, leaning away from the phone, to which he just nodded his head yes. “Yeah, Rowley.”

“Okay, of course he can! And don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for it.”

“Oh, that’s really nice, thank you. Now you should go back to your date, I'm so sorry to bother.”

“No worries! Are you sure everything’s fine?”

“Yes! We ordered pizza and we’re playing video games right now. Everything under control.”

“And Rodrick?”

“Uh, I haven’t really seen him honestly. He definitely hasn’t left his room though.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Bye!” You hung up.

“So?”

“Yeah, call your friend. Ask him if he has any board games we can play!”

Greg did as you said, and, in about half an hour, a little boy with a yellow shirt with a dog on it stood at the door.

“Are you Greg’s babysitter?’

“Uh yeah, I am.”

“Cool!" He looked at Greg behind you. "You told me she was old!”

“Rowley!”

“What? You did!”

You laughed at the interaction and let them do their thing, only asking them to stay by the living room so you could keep an eye on them. You sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone again as you knew the pizza should be about to get there.

The doorbell rang in no time. You stood up to pay for it, grabbing the large-size pizza and tipping the delivery guy, who didn’t look very friendly at all. You brought it in. “Hey Greg can you go call your brother?”

“Yeah!”

He ran up the stairs, and you set the box down on the dining table, Rowley sitting down. Greg came back.

“He told me to bring it to him.”

“Why?"

"He just doesn't wanna come downstairs."

"You don't have to do it.”

“What? He’s gonna beat me up for it!”

“Not with me here. I got you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Chill out.”

. . .

“Hey you little asshole? I told you to bring my pizza!” A voice exclaimed from the second floor, and Greg muffled a quiet ‘shit’.

“Hey don’t say that!” You scolded Greg for swearing as a reflex.

“Hey? Are you not listening?” Rodrick was clearly close to the kitchen now. He walked through the door. “I said get me so-” he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you.

“Who’s this?” He asked the boys.

“That’s Y/N,” Rowley said, through gulps.

"And I'm right here you know? You could just ask me who I am."

“Well who are you? And what are you doing… here?” He leaned over the wall, in a poor attempt to look cool. You had to fight yourself tas not to laugh uncontrollably at the sight.

“Well I seem to be your babysitter for the night.”

“What?”

“Did you also expect an old lady? You know, that's a really common and really hurtful babysitter stereotype, you really should think about the things you say now.”

“Wha- huh- yeah- I’ll just-” He let out a weird laugh, and walked up to the table, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and stuffing it into his mouth, seemingly to shut himself up.

“Well we’re gonna watch a movie after we’re done eating. You wanna join?”

“Oh he’s not gonna-” Greg started talking, but Rodrick quickly interrupted him, almost choking on his food as he did so.

“Yeah! Yeah! What are we uh- what are we watching?”

“Zathura.”

“What the fuck is Zathura?”

“Don’t swear in front of them!”

“Sorry.”

Greg looked at Rowley like Rodrick had just gone insane. Did he just apologize?

You laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys don’t mind, do you?”

They both slowly nodded their head no. 

“Cool. As long as you don’t repeat it in front of your parents, alright? Don’t wanna get me in trouble.”

“We’re not five!"

“Well you do look like it,” Rodrick commented, and Greg stuck his tongue out at him.

. . .

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Rodrick commented, pointing at the screen.

“It’s not supposed to! It’s a kids movie about a magical board game,” you pointed out.

“Let me guess, did Rowley pick this one?”

“For your information, I did. You got a problem?”

“No.”

Rowley had, in fact, picked this one.

Greg and Rowley shared a look again. This was getting bizzarre.

The movie was over in about half an hour, and it was time for you to put Greg to sleep.

“But it’s so early!” The boy complained, and you laughed.

“I know, but you don’t have to sleep now, you just gotta go to bed! I can’t, like, force you to sleep.”

He let out an annoyed groan before agreeing and pulling Rowley with him by the wrist. “Fine.”

“I’ll be upstairs in a few!” You yelled out, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from dinner. It wasn’t really something Mrs. Heffley had explicitly asked you to do, but you had those extra minutes and wanted to get on her good side. 

What you didn’t expect was to come in to find Rodrick still standing there, startling himself when you walked in.

“Uh hey!” His voice was high-pitched, clearly not expecting to see you there so soon.

“Hey.” You wordlessly walked to the sink, starting with the dishes. And then he offered to help you, which didn’t fit the image you had of him at all.

“What?”

“I said do you want some help? I can dry them.”

“Uh sure. Thanks.”

He just nodded, grabbing a cloth. “So did you put them to sleep yet?”

“Yeah they’re supposed to call me when they’re ready. Then I’m pretty much done.”

“Are you leaving like right after?” Was he… disappointed?

“Well not right after, your mom still has to pay me.”

“Right. She paying you extra for the dishes?”

“No,” you laughed, “just wanna score some points. This job’s good money, you know? But don’t tell her I said that.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You nodded, a little awkwardly. “So what’s the deal with the van?”

“What?”

“The huge white van parked right outside? I assume it’s not your mom’s.”

“Yeah.”

“Couldn’t you have picked a better color?”

“What?”

“You know something other than the classic creepy white van?”

He actually laughed. “I don’t think a creep would have ‘löded diper’ written on the door.”

“Maybe you’re just trying not to look too suspicious.”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” Was he… flirting? Well, that was… an attempt.

“What, are you inviting me? You know, I was taught not to get into creepy white vans with strangers.”

“We’re not strangers!” He held his hand up for you to shake, which you did. “I’m Rodrick.”

“Y/N.”

“So. Ho'wd you end up babysitting Greg out of all people?”

“I mean, your dad posted something about it in the newspaper and my mom told me about it. Some extra money, you know?”

“And you’re sure it’s worth it? I mean he’s a big pain in the ass.”

“Aren’t all brothers?”

“I’m not.”

“Right. You’re like a dictator to him!”

“No I’m not!”

“He was scared you were gonna beat him up if he didn’t bring you pizza.”

“He’s dumb. I wasn’t gonna beat him up that badly.”

You laughed. “Well, we’re done. Thank you for the help. You can go now if you wanna.”

“You sound like a mom.”

“Oh my god! Stop trying to make me sound old! I'm some granny cinderella who turns into an old lady who smells like a museum when midnight strikes," you teased him, and he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.

"Right. He told you about that.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. To be fair, I never had a babysitter, you know? I just thought they were all old and boring.”

“Do you think I’m old and boring?” You joked.

He snorted. “No, you’re pretty.” His eyes widened, realizing what he’d just said. Way to go. “Not in that- well not that you’re not pretty, you are, but you know what I mean. You’re uh- you’re pretty compared to what I- expected?"

It was stupid, but you could feel yourself blush a little. Why was it that you always fell for the most absolute idiots? “So I’m pretty… compared to an old woman.”

“I think you should let me start over.”

“But-”

“Y/N!” You heard Greg yell from upstairs, and you left the kitchen to go see him, going up the stairs and entering his room.

“Okay, we ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes!”

“Both of you?”

“Yup.”

“Okay I’ll believe you. But your mom told me you’re on thin ice.”

Greg rolled his eyes and both boys got on the bed. 

“Okay, goodnight. If you don’t sleep right away don’t make too much noise.”

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Why, did you actually like me?”

“Just a little.”

You smiled. “Well no. But I think I might next week.”

“Cool! ‘Night, Y/N!” 

“‘Night!”. You closed the door behind you, and walked downstairs to wait for Mrs. and Mr. Heffley to return so you could go home. 

You stopped on the hallway to send your mom a quick text saying you were fine and should be leaving in a few before making your way to the living room.

To your surprise, Rodrick hadn’t gotten back to his room. Instead, he was laying on the couch, his entire body draped over it as he scrolled through his phone. He sat right up when he saw you. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey. You not have anything to do?”

“I’m offended. But no I don’t.”

You laugh, sitting down beside him. “Okay. Well your parents must be on their way, so. Don’t have much to do either.”

“You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well a real movie.”

“Zathura’s a real movie! I like it!”

“You actually do?”

“Yes!”

“Whatever. Well an adult movie I mean.”

“Uh, an adult movie?”

“No! Not that kind!” He was blushing furiously and you found it hilarious. 

“Yeah whatever. What do you have?”

You ended up settling on a Marvel movie, but you barely had the time to start it before the doorbell rang, and you had to go get the door.

“Hey Y/N! I’m sorry we took so long, we had to go get Manny.”

“That’s fine! Rodrick and I were just about to watch a movie!”

“Rodrick came downstairs?” Mr. Heffley sounded genuinely surprised.

“Well you can finish it if you want!”

“Oh, no, I really should get going. We can finish it another time.”

“Oh well. Okay.” She put Manny down and grabbed her wallet, handing you your money. “Here, with the extra from Rowley. Hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Oh they were so cool! I was surprised.”

“Oh that’s great to hear! If they haven’t traumatized you too much we’d love to have you sit them again.”

“Oh definitely! Just give me a call.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Are you driving home?”

“Oh, no, I’m actually walking. I thought we’d be done a little earlier.”

“Oh that’s not good, we can take you-”

“I can take her!” Rodrick yelled, almost falling off of the couch in his eagerness. He stood up, walking toward you. His dad looked like he was short-circuiting.

“Are you sure?” His mom asked.

“Yeah! Come on, let’s go.” He walked quickly past the front door and into the white van.

“Sure. Bye Mrs. Heffley!”

“Bye sweetie! Tell me if he bothers you too much!”

You walked towards the van, getting in on the passenger’s seat. He turned the engine on in silence. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding you, and you didn’t know why.

You cleared your throat. “So uh. Thanks for driving me.”

“Yeah it’s chill. Where do I turn?”

“Oh let me just- give me your phone.”

“What?”

“So I can put the address on the GPS?”

“Oh. Sure.” He handed it to you after unlocking it, and you did as you said. 

“Turn left in 200 feet,” the disembodied voice said, and he did.

“You don’t have to uh- do these things for me. You know, drive me home, help me with the dishes. It’s nice, but I’m not gonna tell on you if you don’t.”

“I know. I uh. I want to.”

“You wanna do the dishes?”

“I wanna help you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Fine.”

You got home pretty quickly, as you didn’t live a long way from the Heffley residence, and got out of the car. 

“Thank you for driving me! Goodnight.”

“Yeah!” Rodrick yelled back, and waited for you to get in to drive off. There was a smile on your lips you couldn’t shake off, and you felt stupid for it. Was the weird wannabe rock band kid really having an effect on you?

. . .

On wednesday, you got a call from Ms. Heffley again. And then on friday, and saturday, and sunday. This could not be normal, right? But it was money, so you obviously wouldn’t refuse it. So you pulled up to the Heffley residence for the fifth time on sunday, knocking on the door as usual.

Greg opened it this time, greeting you with a confused expression. “You’re here again?”

“Miss me, kid?”

“Are they going out again?”

“Apparently.”

“Mom, Y/N’s here!”

“Oh hey sweetie! Thank you for coming!”

“No problem! Where are you off to today?”

“Well we’re going bowling. Rodrick found us these pamphlets at the mall and wouldn’t stop bugging us about trying it out, so we decided to give it a go.”

“Oh he did?” That was strange.

“And you seem to have things so under control! I can’t believe we’ve been going out so much!”

“Well I’m happy to hear it. When will you be back?”

“I’d say eleven if that’s not too late for you?”

“Oh definitely not! As long as Rodrick can drive me.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem. You ready, darling?” She asked her husband, who walked by holding Manny in one arm and a huge bag in the other. 

“Yeah.”

"Everything there?” Susan asked him, referring to the bag. She turned back to you. “Manny’s staying over at my mom’s for the first time today. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah!" You exclaimed, not really getting all the excitement about it. You supposed you would if you were his mom. Right now you were just happy you didn’t have to watch over him too. Little kids were always more difficult. 

“Okay bye everyone!”

Greg and Rodrick were right behind you the moment you closed the door.

“Can we make pasta?’ Greg asked, and damn, the little dude must have had some sugar because he looked like he’d downed like three energy drinks at once.

“Well yeah. I make a killer pasta. Is Rowley coming today?”

“Yeah!”

“Cool.”

“Do you want help with the food?” Rodrick finally spoke up, and Greg looked at him like he was speaking Greek.

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?’ Greg couldn’t contain himself from asking him.

“What do you mean, assface?”

“Did you just offer to help with the food?”

“Yeah?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh shut it, dickhead.” You didn’t miss the nervous glance he gave you, clearly signaling something about you to Greg. And then Greg seemed to figure something out, his eyes going wide.

“Oh! Is that why you-” Rodrick looked alarmed, putting his hand against Greg’s mouth to keep him from talking, but he managed to get himself free. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get mom and dad to go out all week?”

“Hah. Don’t know what he’s talking about, pssht.” Rodrick laughed nervously.

“Uh sure. Well I’m already hungry so I’m thinking early dinner and then we can make dessert?”

“Yes!” Greg yelled.

“Okay but if we’re making the food you gotta set the table. Deal?” 

Greg groaned in annoyance, but agreed. “Fine.” He went on his way, and you and Rodrick made your own way to the kitchen.

“So,” you started, as you grabbed the pasta from the cabinet. “You’ve been trying to get your parents to go out all week.”

He looked everywhere but at you. “Uh, I don’t know what the kid’s on about.”

“Well, shame. Cause I was gonna thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well the more times a week I work the more money I get right?”

“Oh right. Right. So yeah you can thank me.”

“So you were setting them up to go out. Why?”

He shrugged, trying to seem cool. “Wanted to be alone.”

“You’re not alone now. You could be in your room. Or like out with your friends or whatever.”

“I didn’t anticipate that you’d actually be cool.”

“Oh you think I’m cool?”

“Yeah.” 

The water started to boil, and you threw the pasta in the pot, stirring it with a fork.

“Cool. You’re kinda cool too. You know when you’re not trying to be impressive.”

“I’m not trying to impress you!”

“I didn’t say you were trying to impress me .”

“Well I was.”

“You were.”

“Did it work?”

“Why’d you want to impress me?”

“Cause you’re cool. I wanted you to think I’m cool too.”

“Huh. Maybe I do.”

“Cool.”

“Y/N I’M DONE! I THINK ROWLEY’S HERE !” Greg’s voice came from the dining room.

“I didn’t hear the doorbell, are you sure?” You yelled back, walking past Rodrick to get the front door. Maybe you were too lost in the conversion to hear it, because the boy was standing right there when you opened it.

“Hey Y/N!” He said with a smile, greeting you with a hug, which was very on-brand for the kid. 

“Hey Rowley. You alright?”

“Yeah! I brought water balloons!”

“You did?”

“Well they’re not full of water yet so they’re just balloons but yeah.”

“Cool! You should tell Greg!”

“Will you play with us?”

“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have clothes I can get wet-”

“Well that’s not a problem!” Rodrick said, and you frowned in confusion. “You can borrow mine!”

“Oh I don-”

“C’mon, Y/N, you really gonna disappoint the boy?”

“Shut up. Fine, but you’re playing too.”

“Deal.”

“Yes!” Rowley exclaimed, before taking off, presumably to go find Greg.

“Well you wanna go up to my room?” Rodrick asked, apparently having otten some confidence from out of the blue, sporting a cocky smirk.

You laughed. “You wish. Just bring me a t-shirt.”

“Yeah. Someone’s gonna be looking like the number one Loded Diper fan out there.”

“If you bring me a white shirt I will beat you up!” You yelled, and he was already on his way upstairs. You took the past out of the pot, mixing it with the sauce you’d made, which was the easiest one you could find.

Rodrick was back as soon as you set the pot down on the table, handing you a gray shirt that , of course, had ‘loded diper’ written on it in terrible handwriting. 

“Thanks.” You draped the shirt over your shoulder and all of you ate in silence, apparently all stupidly hungry for some reason.

You were done pretty quickly, but made sure to get Greg and Rowley to promise to help with the dishes this time, since there were more.

“Okay! We’re gonna get changed!”

“Yeah me too!” You yelled back, making your way to the bathroom, changing into Rodrick’s gray shirt.

It didn’t hang as loose as you thought it would, and you laughed at the thought of Rodrick wearing a tight shirt for no reason. You supposed it was an old one he decided to turn into loded diper merch. Loded diper. What a stupid fucking name. You guessed it was fit. 

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Rodrick. “You done? These kids are little demons, they talk so much!”

You laughed, unlocking the door and grabbing your own shirt before opening it. 

“Hello?” He looked wide-eyed, like his brain was malfunctioning, staring profusely at his shirt. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Fine. The shirt alright?”

“Yeah. A lot smaller than I expected. Does Rodrick Heffley wear crop tops?”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “Sometimes. That bad?”

“No.”

“Chicks dig the crop tops, you know.”

“Oh do they?”

“Don’t you?”

“I guess I’d have to see you in one to give an opinion.”

“Yeah that’s not happening any soon."

“Shame.”

“What?”

“I said let’s go.”

You barely had the time to walk into the front yard before Rodrick was hit on the face by a huge water balloon. You turned to see a terrified-looking Rowley at the other side. Rodrick gained his bearings again. 

“Oh you’re in, you little shit!” He seemed way too determined on winning this, but who were you to judge?

Him and Rowley occupied themselves with each other pretty much the whole time, as you did with Greg, until you got hit rather strongly in the back. You stopped what you were doing, which was aiming your next balloon at Greg, who was right in front of you, and turned around to see Rodrick laughing at you.

“Motherfucker-” you cursed yourself mentally for swearing in front of the kids, hoping they wouldn ‘t tell on you, and launched the balloon at him at full speed, it landing on his chest. 

“Hey!”

You played for about half an hour more until the sun set, and you decided it was best to get back inside. All three complained, and you laughed at the situation, because you supposed you did sort of sound like a mom when trying to convince them to get in, but they ended up listening.

“Okay what are we watching tonight?” You asked as you closed the front door behind you and dried your feet on the mat by the entrance.

“Oh can we watch a horror movie?” Greg asked.

“Nope, we know how that ends.”

“But we’ve changed!”

“It’s been less than a week!”

“People change!” Greg tried to plead, but you knew Mrs. Heffley wouldn’t like it if you caved in.

“No can do, Gregory. We can watch that Adam Sandler movie you wanted though.”

“With the little kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

You were halfway through a second movie when the boys decided it was time for dessert, and you still had a little while before the Heffleys came back, so you decided you’d all bake cupcakes.

They didn’t turn out as great as you wished they would, but also weren’t half bad. They were a little flat and maybe a little toasted on the top, but were otherwise pretty edible. You covered them with some frosting and ate them as you finished the movie.

It turned out when you were done the Heffleys still hadn’t come back, so you decided to put the boys to sleep then. You came back to Ridrick looking at you at the other end of the hallway. 

“Hey,” you said, not expecting him to be there.

You stood there in silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and started talking.

“Um do you wanna hang out? ‘Till they're back?” It was funny, with him. One moment he’d be full of confidence, flirting with you at the max, but, in a second, his entire demeanor would change and he’d look unsure, insecure to ask you anything.

You were starting to wonder if he wasn’t just being a stupid hormonal teenager and if he actually, maybe, had a little bit of a crush on you. But you wouldn’t entertain those thoughts, of course. First because you could be completely misinterpreting the situations, and second because you needed the job, and you hadn’t gotten enough of a read on his mom to know if she’d be cool with that.

Still, you did have nothing else to do but scroll through your phone as you waited. “Sure.”

“Oh! Cool. Uh, my room’s right there,” he pointed to a white door by his left, and you followed him in. It actually looked pretty cool. It was sort of exactly what you expected his room to look like, except maybe a little messier, if that was possible.

To each their own, I guess. It’s not like you were the cleanest person to ever walk the Earth. You sat down on his bed, and he opted to sit down on a beanbag just in front of you.

TIt's safe to say things were a little awkward. “Uh. So. Cool room.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You studied the multiple posters he had glued to his walls. “Oh, The Cure. Cool.”

“Yeah. They’re not like super my style or anything. But they’re cool.”

“What would be your style?”

“I don’t know. Hard rock.”

“Huh. I don’t know. You just look like one of those guys who like rock but secretly listen to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber or something when they’re alone.”

“What- what I would never- I don’t-” busted. 

You laughed at him as he tried to deny it. “I think it’s cool.”

He stopped. “You do?”

“Yeah. Taylor Swift’s cool.”

“Yeah uh. Girls dig that.”

“Do you really know what girls dig or do you just make random guesses?”

“I’m well-informed.”

“Oh are you? You have a girlfriend or something?” Subtle.

He scoffed. “Pfft. Yeah.”

“Uh- huh.”

He gave in. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay”

“You're a girl. What do you dig then?”

“What a romantic way to phrase that question. I guess I don’t know. Never stopped to think of it. What do you think we dig?”

“Uh. Bad boys?”

You let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess. But it depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether they’re nice to us.”

“So you want bad boys who are actually nice.”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Uh. But I can be nice.”

“Who said you’re a bad boy to begin with?”

“Um rock band? Cool eyeliner?” He motioned to himself, mockingly.

“Well who do you wanna be nice for?”

“Uh. You? Obviously.”

Your smile faltered. There was the confidence making an appearance again.

“What?”

“Uh. You know. So I can uh- practice. For other... girls?”

“Right.”

“Or maybe not.”

“Okay I ‘m lost.”

“Do you wanna go out with me? ” He blurted out at rapid speed.

Okay, sudden much? “What?”

“Uh. We could… go to the movies or something? You seem to like movies.”

“Right. But as a… date?”

“Yeah.”

You thought about it. It was just a date, it’s not like his mom would get mad about a date, right?

“Sure.”

“What?”

“I said sure.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t seem to have been expecting a positive answer. “Oh! That’s cool! That's- cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

He began standing up. “Well, do you wanna-” In that very moment, before he could finish, the doorbell rang, and you made your way past him, running downstairs and getting the front door. 

“Y/N! How are we?”

You hoped the blush on your cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt as you talked to her. “We’re great! Greg and Rowley are already in bed, Rodrick and I have been uh. Hanging out.”

“Oh that’s nice of him!” She turned to face her husband, who, in turn, grabbed your wrist. 

“What have you done to him? Are you some sort of witch?” He asked you.

You laughed awkwardly. “Oh it’s all him! He was showing me the posters in his room, we like the same bands!”

“Oh do you uh. Like rock too?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well we’re taking too much of your time. Is Rodrick driving you home?”

Oh, right. Shit. He was.

“Yeah I uh, think so.”

With that, he walked into your view, holding up the van keys. He’d apparently put on shades, probably so his parents wouldn’t see he had eyeliner on.

“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Mr. Heffley asked him as he walked past them.

“It’s called fashion, dad!”

Mrs. Heffley handed you the money for the night, and you went on your way, getting into the van with Rodrick, who, by now, didn’t need the GPS to get to your place. Except he wasn’t driving to your place at all.

“What are you doing?”

“Wanted a slushie. That cool?”

“I guess.”

He stopped by a 7/11 and bought each of you a slushie and some chocolate bars, which you ate outside. The wind started to get harsher, and you crossed your arms around your chest for warmth. He caught on to that, taking his striped hoodie off and giving it to you. You looked up at him, confused.

“What?”

“You’re cold.”

“Yeah but you’ll be cold.”

“Rockstars don’t get cold.”

“You’re not a rockstar.”

“Not yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"Just take it!” 

You did, and put it on. This one hung looser than the shirt you’d borrowed earlier. It did help. You tried your best to contain the smile that was insisting on forming on your lips. You knew it was dumb.

“Thanks,” you mumbled under your breath, and you could see him smirk, proud of himself. “You’re so cheesy. Wouldn’t take you for it.” 

“I’m not cheesy. I’m just not an asshole.”

“You kinda are.”

“Shut up!”

You ate in silence for a bit before you decided to say what was on your mind. “Hey about that date?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t… I don’t know if we should do it.”

He tried to seem chill about it, but he looked a little hurt. “Why?”

“Well it’s not that I don’t want to! I do. For… some reason,” you added, trying to lighten up the mood. “But do you think your mom would be cool with it? I mean I don’t wanna lose this job and I don’t know if she’d really like us being alone if we’re dating.”

His face lit up. “So you’re thinking about dating me?”

Oh, you’d messed up big time now, he’d never let this go. “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“I think it is.”

“Fuck off!”

“Oh we’re using big boy words now?” He grinned.

“Shut up.”

“Well. Don’t think that should be a problem. They don’t have to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“What, do you tell your parents everything? They don’t have to know we’re dating.”

“Yeah but we’re not dating.”

“Not yet.”

“Shut up!”

“They don’t have to know we’re going on a date, then. Plus, the days you work can be like little dates.”

“Yeah except there will be two children up our asses.”

“You can manage.”

“Fine, Heffley. But if I lose my job you’ll be owing me. Like literal money.”

“Deal.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah. Cool.”

[. . .]

A/N: sometimes ur 20 pages into a diary of a wimpy kid rodrick heffley oneshot and you ask urself wtf am i doing with my life. this is the product of that. i wrote this THREE YEARS AGO WOW so i edited some of it to post it here but nothing major cause i didn't want it to lose its energy lol. btw i was in fact like. actually in high school at the time lmao. luv yall!

[joeyfranchise]

𝟙𝟚 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕗𝕚𝕔-𝕞𝕒𝕤: 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖

under the mistletoe

lsu!joe x fem!reader

summary: you and joe can’t stand each other. what happens when your stubbornness meets his head on… underneath the mistletoe.

warnings: minors dni, 18+. cocky joe is always his own warning, kissing, spitting, p in v, semi-public sex.

word count: 4.3k

note: happy first day of fic-mas! what better way to start than with lsu joe <333

“yeah, i’ll be able to make it… i think,” you say into your phones receiver, struggling to slide your uggs on and talk on the phone at the same time. “sorry margot! i’m scrambling this morning!” you tell your roommate, turning her on speaker and laying your phone on the counter.

her cheerful voice fills the kitchen as she responds. “it‘s okay babe! i just heard about this party and we have to go to it before we go home for christmas this year! can you write it on the fridge calendar?”

as you listen to margot talk, you pop a k-cup into your keurig and begin brewing it, sliding your trusty travel mug underneath to catch all of the delicious liquid that you can only hope will get you through this day.

“yep, i’ll put it on there! december 21st?” you ask her, popping the cap off the dry erase marker that your white-board calendar holds.

“yes, that’s right. we’ll just have to watch our alcohol intake that night since we both have an early flight the next morning.” she laughs.

you write the event down and close the marker, placing it back in its holder. you fix up your coffee as margot continues talking, filling you in on the campus drama she’s already seen this morning.

“so anyways girl,” she raved, the smirk on her face evident in her tone, “i saw justin and joe this morning talking to the same girl. like get a grip. they’re probably having another weird competition again.”

you scowl immediately as you hear joe’s name. the quarterback and his best friend chatting up the same girl, how cliché. “god i cannot stand them!” you reply with an eye-roll, annoyance present in your voice.

you weren’t sure why you hated joe so much. maybe it was the incessant flirting he did with you and every other girl you knew. maybe it was how his friend group always made bets on who could “bag bitches” first, or maybe it was just the overly confident attitude that seeped from his pores. every class that you took with him, you dreaded, because you knew he’d be right there on his bullshit the whole time.

over time, he grew to dislike you as well, especially when he realized his advances wouldn’t work on you. you tried your best to avoid and ignore him, but he always made it difficult for you. he’d bump you as you passed by, knocking you and your books over into the floor. he’d stick his foot out in hopes that you’d trip. he’d send unsolicited dick pics just because he knew it’d piss you off. the joke was on him when you’d reply with laughing emojis or even the shrimp emoji.

margot laughed at your anger. “joe’s honestly kinda funny.” she says, only making you scowl even more. “oh am i?” you can hear him ask her, it becomes obvious to you that he’s made his way over to your best friend. “mhmmm.” she draws out, and you gag. you can imagine her twirling her hair around her finger as she flirts back with him. puke.

“hey princess, comin’ to the party?” he asks, clear that he’d taken margot’s phone. hanging up the phone on him is your answer. how could she be talking trash about him flirting one minute, and then flirting back the next. you roll your eyes for nobody but yourself.

you grab all your things and leave your flat, locking the door behind you as you head to class, ready to get the last few days before winter break over with.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

the days seem to fly by, which you’re thankful for, and you pack your bag at the end of your last class before break with a smile on your face. the party is tonight, which you aren’t really excited for, but you’re going for margot and to get at least a little tipsy.

you sling your bag over your shoulder and head out of the class, your stomach growling as you think of what you should have for dinner.

you’re lost in thought as you walk, and soon you’re running straight into a hard body. as you look up to apologize you realize it’s joe, so you close your mouth as quickly as you’ve opened it.

“damn, princess.” he chuckles, grabbing your elbows to steady you. “if you wanted a hug i could just give you one.” he winks.

“no thanks.” you say, shoving him off you. “i’m too afraid i’ll catch chlamydia or something.” his friend ja’marr laughs at your words and joe throws him a scowl.

“that’s not how that works.” joe snarks, raising an eyebrow at you. “but then again, you probably wouldn’t know, you’re probably a virgin.”

you stomp down hard on his toe. “actually no, i fucked your dad.” you retort, blowing him a kiss as you walk past, and farther down the hallway.

you don’t see justin and ja’marr losing their minds at what you said, falling into each other with laughter. you also don’t see how joe stares as you walk away, a mix of anger and pride written all over his face.

when you make it home, you can barely get your keys out before margot is throwing open the door and dragging you in, headed straight for her closet. she has about ten different outfit options laid out, and even some she’s selected for you, including a beautiful strappy red dress.

“help me pickkkkk.” she whines, rifling through all the clothes she’s strewn over her bed. you pick up a navy bodycon dress with shiny silver accents and hold it up to her frame, followed by a long, dark green dress.

“i’ve always liked how these two look on you, marg. pick one of them!” you say, trying to sound as chipper as possible. she holds them both up as she turns to look in the floor length mirror, examining them and trying to make a decision.

“ughhhhh, i don’t knowwww.” she whines again, and you’ve had enough. you snatch the red dress off the bed and race out of her room, headed for your own. you lock the door behind you, and you hear margot laughing as she knocks at the door.

“bitch!” she yells, amused at your antics. you step into your bathroom, hanging the dress on the back of the door as you slip your clothes off and turn the hot shower on. you tie your hair up, not wanting it to get wet, and you step under the hot stream.

the water hits your back pleasantly, the warmth working at the knots of stress you’d been holding in your shoulder blades. you lathered your body wash onto your loofah and began scrubbing, washing away the ick of your day.

you quickly check your body, rinsing before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower to dry off with your favorite fluffy towel. you lotion up, put on some perfume, and apply a quick layer of makeup - concealer, mascara, and lipgloss - before sliding the dress on and letting down your hair. the red fabric hugged your shape in all the right places, and you posed in the mirror as you admired just how good you looked.

you plugged the curling iron in and as you waited for it to heat up you ran out into your room to slide a thong underneath your dress, followed by putting on a pair of sparkly silver heels. you began curling your hair shortly after, and then you applied some hairspray, then a few accentuating pieces of silver jewelry.

once you were satisfied with how you looked, you spritzed on some extra perfume and unplugged the curler, wrapping the cord around it and shoving it back under your bathroom cabinet. you unlocked your door and went out to the kitchen to try and find a quick snack before the party. you settled on toast, popping a piece of bread into the toaster and pushing the button down.

margot stepped out of her room and joined you in the kitchen just as you were spreading peanut butter on your bread, and she spun around so you could critique her look. she wore the navy dress with black heels, and she looked incredible.

you took a bite of toast before speaking, “it looks great babe!”

she gagged as you spoke with your mouth full. “i can’t believe you’re eating that in a dress, my dress no less!” she scowled playfully.

“i like living life on the edge.”

you finished your food and washed your hands quickly, margot was ready to get out the door. you grabbed your phone and locked up, heading to her car so she could drive to the party. you left your phone in her car as you arrived, knowing you’d be staying sober and driving back home tonight. you had originally planned on drinking, but you changed your mind. leaving your phone was against your better judgment, but you did it anyway.

margot left her phone as well but she gave you her keys, knowing you’d be dragging her ass home tonight since you had to fly out in the morning.

as you walked into the party, you laid down the game plan.

“alright, let’s try to stick together, no unnecessary hook-ups. and please don’t drink too much. i’d also like to get home in enough time to sleep a little, and finish packing a few things.” you tell her.

she rolls her eyes and calls you a procrastinator before reluctantly agreeing. you head into the party, the loud music was already bumping through the house and making the floor shake. you knew this was a “christmas” party, but you didn’t expect anything less than rap music to be blaring throughout the frat house.

you stuck by margot’s side as she waded to the kitchen, ready to indulge in a few drinks. you politely declined all that was offered to you, and you kept a close eye on your friend as she began downing shots. after a few sips of liquid courage she finally wanted to dance, so she pulled you along until you were passing through the doorway into a giant room that had been transformed into a dance floor. red lights created a sexy scene, and a disco ball was hung from the ceiling, swirling around and creating a beautiful pattern along the walls.

unfortunately, you didn’t make it past the door. as you were headed one way, joe was headed another, and his friends blocked you both so neither of you could pass.

“the fuck are y’all doing?” joe asked irritatedly, shooting pointed glares toward his friends and to you. “seriously, move and let me through.” you said, just as angered.

justin and ja’marr laughed and smirked at each other, and you noticed margot giggling too as she pointed up to the top of the door-frame. hanging there, of course, was a bit of mistletoe.

joe spoke first. he shoved at justin, “dude, fuckin’ move.” he said.

you tried pushing past ja’marr, but he wouldn’t budge. joe shot you a dirty look. “come on, let’s get it over with then.” he said, annoyance very clear in his tone.

“hell no.” you refuse, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “i’d rather stand here all night than kiss you.”

joe’s face turns to what seems to be a genuinely offended expression, and he mirrors your pose as he challenges you. “oh yeah? alright then.” he says, sticking his bottom lip out and furrowing his brow as he shakes his head. “let’s stand here all night.”

you firmly place your back against the door frame as you make eye contact with him, and he does the same. margot is standing by with his friends, and all three of them are laughing hysterically.

“literally the two most stubborn people i’ve ever seen in my life!” she giggles, leaning on ja’marr’s shoulder.

“you think we need to stand and watch ‘em?” justin asks, looking over at margot. ja’marr answers before she has the chance. “nah, if there’s one thing i know about 9, he ain’t backing down from a challenge.”

“y/n’s the same way. she’d argue with a brick wall if it meant she could prove a point. she won’t budge until he does.”

justin laughs at their answers before ushering them off to the dancefloor, leaving you and joe alone to stare at each other with utter disgust.

you huff as you look at joe, and he smirks back at you, unfazed by your little display of attitude. people pass between you and stop to kiss under the mistletoe, on the lips, cheek, or forehead. the two of you also earn many dirty looks.

standing there is honestly easy - at first. the sheer amount of dislike you have for joe is what’s holding you upright, it has to be. you continue to shoot dirty looks at him, all of which he returns, but after a while your legs start feeling weak. you slouch, eventually falling into a sitting position, and you fix your dress along your thighs so nobody can see under it. joe takes the opportunity to tease you.

“just a quick peck,” he smarms, making a kissy face at you. “that’s allll it’ll take.”

you gag, mostly jokingly, at the thought. “i don’t wan’t your lips anywhere near me, burrow.” he laughs and shakes his head, continuing to stand there with his arms crossed.

you sit there for what feels like hours - it has to be hours, people are leaving the party now… and joe is still across from you, still crouched against the doorway. people have resorted to stepping over you both to get through to the kitchen, pecking each other happily as they cross. some of joe’s friends have tried to come save him, they’ve offered to kiss you so he could come play beer pong or hangout, but you won’t let them. you made this bet with joe, and you have to see it through.

you figured joe would break whenever a girl would come offer herself up to him, but he didn’t. he declined everyone that wasn’t you, and brushed all his friends off. you pretended that didn’t affect you… but the fact that he was doing all this because of some stupid rivalry you had with him turned you on as much as it pissed you off, not that you’d ever admit that to him.

as the crowd starts to dwindle down you get nervous, you really need to get margot and head home, but there’s no way you’re breaking and kissing joe. you look over and see her kissing ja’marr in the corner and you roll your eyes. joe seems kinda proud of his friend and a tiny smirk falls upon his lips.

you scoff.

“what’s your problem?” he asks you, sticking his foot out and kicking yours. “i really need to get going. margot and i have to fly out early and she’s over there sucking face. and i’m over here…”

“not sucking face?” he laughs, tilting his head slightly. “exactly.” you agree.

“look, if it’s bothering you that bad,” he shrugs, “i’ll give you a peck to get it over with. then you and margot can leave.” for a moment you think you can see a crack in that ‘fuckboy’ exterior. you aren’t sure you want to take him up on that offer, but you know neither of your friends will let you move from this spot if you don’t.

you think about it for a brief second, and reluctantly agree to let joe kiss you. you try to talk yourself down. i mean, it could be worse. at least he isn’t ugly.

“okay… fine. but you have to tell everyone you caved.”

“whatever you say, princess.” he lilts, already leaning in toward you. “don’t call me that, i hate it.” you snap, looking him firmly in the eye.

“why?” he teases, inching closer, “it’s what you act like. even now, getting your way so you can go home instead of standing here all night. you’re a spoiled little princess.”

you reach out your hand and place it on his chest, you definitely don’t want to kiss him now. that doesn’t stop him, though. he’s already almost there until finally, his lips are touching yours as his frame towers over yours a bit. you’re both still sitting on the floor, but joe stands up quickly and yanks you up with him.

your immediate reaction to the kiss is to squirm away, but joe doesn’t let you. he wraps his arms around your smaller frame and pulls you into him, caging you against his chest. his lips start moving against yours and after a moment, you start kissing back.

all the alarms in your head are going off, but you can’t force yourself to care now. joe is a really good kisser. your hands find their way to his hair, tugging slightly. joe pulls away for a quick breath.

“went from not wanting my lips near ya to tugging on my shit real quick, huh?”

you slap his arm, earning yourself a laugh. you wait for joe to lean back in, but he never does, and for some reason you feel hurt by it. you look over and see margot still occupied with ja’marr, and then you turn your attention back to joe. he takes in your expression before laughing, you look like a kicked puppy.

“what’s wrong, princess?” he teases again, sliding his hands back around your waist. “didn’t realize you liked me so much?”

“fuck off, joe.” you retort, but you’re laughing as you say it. you stand on your tiptoes to meet his lips again, and he obliges you. you move together in sync, and this time he keeps his hold on you, pulling you even closer.

“always knew you liked me, could fuck you under this mistletoe if i wanted.” he rasps. you moan at the thought. you aren’t sure what’s come over you. you didn’t drink anything… you aren’t usually desperate… maybe it’s something to do with the fact that joe said he didn’t want this just as much as you said you didn’t, but here you are both reveling in each other’s touch. it felt like you couldn’t get close enough to each other. he pushes your back against the doorway, finally moving his hands off your hips and tangling them in your hair.

the tip of his tongue dips into your mouth slightly, and you push yours back against his, sliding it along the roof of his mouth as you slip past his lips. before you know it, joe’s dragging you down the hall and into the first vacant room he can find before he’s throwing you down onto the bed and towering over you. you push up to unzip your dress, realizing you might want this just as much as he does, but he stops you by holding out a hand.

“nah, keep it on. slide it up.”

you do as you’re told, sliding your dress over your legs, wiggling your butt and arching your back so you can get it up over ass and hips. joe drinks in the sight of you, your smooth legs and gorgeous body. you’re insecure about yourself a lot, but he’s looking over you like a man starved as he licks his lips.

he doesn’t bother closing the door as he stalks toward you, pulling a condom from his back pocket with one hand while unbuttoning his pants with the other. you slide your panties down your legs and spread them open for him with confidence.

“fuck,” he gasps, watching as you dip your fingers down between your folds to gather some of your wetness and then you rub them in tight circles on your clit. you gasp as you touch yourself, your eyes following joe as he finally pulls his pants down far enough, fisting his hand along his admittedly large length. you always teased him about it in pictures, but it was big. he knew it, you knew it, half of the state of louisiana knew it. and to your dismay, it was prettier in person.

joe finally makes it to the edge of the bed, still watching you as you work yourself. you figured you’d be cringing at the lack of foreplay, or how his pants aren’t even all the way off, but you can’t bring yourself to care as he continues stroking himself before ripping open the condom and sliding it on. he gets on the edge of the bed by his knees and comes toward you a little, a hand extending out to run a finger through your heat and gather some of the wetness pooling there. he smears it all over his cock, and even though the condom is there, it still drives you crazy to see. “joe, come on before i back out.” you tell him, and you almost don’t recognize your fucked out voice.

the heat of the moment is so enticing to you both. his clothes are still on, pants down his legs halfway, and your dress is hiked up while you dig your high heeled shoes into someone else’s mattress. he finally leans forward and slides into you. you take a sharp breath, feeling more full than you ever have as he pushes in to the hilt.

joe barely gives you any time to adjust before he’s thrusting into you roughly. his lips find yours again and you gasp into his mouth. he pulls away slightly, allowing a drop of spit to fall from his lips into your mouth, which you take happily. you’re both moving sloppily against each other, but as joe brings his hand to your clit to flick his fingertips against it gently, you can’t bring yourself to even care. you’ve had sex with plenty of people and you’ve had orgasms before, but you’ve never experienced the euphoria joe is making you feel.

the warmth starts at the top of your head and it spreads throughout your extremities, into your fingertips and toes. you arch into him, your lips still moving together, and joe’s hips are still pounding into yours, shaking the bed against the wall. you cringe as you hear margot’s keys jingling in your bra. it doesn’t seem to bother joe.

with a few quick slips of his fingers over your clit, you’re cumming against him without warning, and harder than you ever have in your life. the tight squeeze around his cock as you cum is the catalyst for his own orgasm as he spills into the condom.

he pulls out of you with haste, ready to tie off the condom and discard it as fast as possible, hating how slimy it feels. just as soon as he’s moved you dart off the bed, grabbing your panties and slipping them up your legs before attempting to make a run for it.

joe pulls his pants and boxers up, tucking himself in and then runs after you, making it to the door before you. “pretty good, wasn’t it?” he jokes, and you roll your eyes at him before pushing past and walking back down the hall, headed for margot. he chases after you.

“okay, didn’t last as long as i normally would, but i mean, we could do it again, i could prove it. that was… you were…”

you press a finger to his lips as you pass through the very same doorway that got you into this predicament. your eyes study joe’s face as he nervously worries his bottom lip between his teeth. you’ve never seen him like this before, he’s shaken up, and you like that you’re the cause of it. you’d hate to admit it, but you would like to do this again. you point up at the mistletoe and joe takes the hint, pulling you in for another short yet sweet kiss.

“text me.” is all you say before walking over to margot, grabbing her by the arm, and dragging her out the door and to the car. you pull her keys from your bra and unlock it, opening the passenger door and shoving her in before going to the drivers side and starting the ignition.

margot slurs her words as she speaks to you. “wha’ happened? did’ya kiss ‘im?”

“i’ll tell you later, marg.” you say, eager to get home as quickly as possible. you park as quickly as you’ve pulled into the space and you help margot out, grabbing both your phones before you go inside, taking margot right to her room. she insists she’s okay enough to take off her makeup and undress, and she promises she’ll drink water before she falls asleep. you head to your room, shocked to see the clock on your phone reading 1:00am already.

you set yourself an alarm for six, and you undress quickly before sliding on some pajamas and settling in bed.

when you wake the next morning it’s to margot beating on your door. “wake the hell up, we missed our flight!”

you scramble out of bed, unplugging your phone and running out into the hall. margot stands next to her door, laughing at you as you panic.

“don’t just stand there, marg!” you shout, your voice laced with panic. “we’ve gotta get dressed, load our bags, call the airport—“

she cuts you off with a loud laugh. “relax, y/n.” she says between giggles. “we aren’t late. i just wanted to get back at you. how dare you sleep with the quarterback and not tell your best friend?” she shoves your shoulder.

you look down at your phone, realizing it’s only 6:10am. “bitch.” you laugh, running back into your room. you lock the door behind you again, and margot continues her laughter. “i need all the juicy details! literally every last second of it, you have to tell me everything!”

you weren’t sure how she even knew, even though you’re sure ja’marr probably texted her.

you roll your eyes at her even though she can’t see it as you head to your bathroom, ready to take a quick shower. you check your phone one last time before hopping in the water, noticing a text notification from joe, who you’ve affectionately saved as “fuckface.”

you don’t open it just yet, but you crack a smile knowing he’s messaged you already. what have you gotten yourself into?

all photos and dividers used are not mine. all credit to owners.

taglist: @slimshiesty @starsinthesky5 @kykysinlovewithafairytale @burrowdarling @joeyb1989 @loveyatopluto @toterry @unhingedfangirl @superheroprincess22 @burreauxsworld @definitelynotdomanique @samanthamark5 @superstarshitblog @fa1ry03 @wickedfun9 @xbriexx @venic-bxtch @burrowdarling @angels555 @idbe-theman @yelenasbraid @ladyluvduv @joeburrowshaircurl @joeybisbootiful @livinobx @blairsworld22 @jarring-behavior @joeyburrrow

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Closet Date

Pair: Husband!Justin Jefferson x Wife!BlackReader

Des: You and Justin need a break from your kids, so you find solace in your walk-in closet.

TW: MDNI 18+ NSFW | smut, p in v, fingering, descriptions of a dick, breeding kink, daddy kink, language, temper tantrums, children not playing nice, 1st POV, Justin's POV

WC: 1950

Main Masterlist

｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

It’s 7 PM on Friday, it’s 95°, and my husband and I are stuck trying to discipline a 7-year-old boy and a 3-year-old because they won’t stop trying to kill each other.

Alright, we love our boys more than anything, but when Zion came home from school with a prize he won from participating in class (which we are very proud of him for), Deion, his little brother, lost it. 

Justin is currently trying to help Zion understand that his brother is young and still learning about sharing and not touching other people’s stuff. 

While I am trying to soothe Deion as he continues to have a 20-minute temper tantrum, at this point, I’m just waiting for him to pass out because this little boy will not listen. 

So here I am, sitting on the living room floor, as my toddler bangs his fists and kicks his feet. Thankfully, the waterworks have dried up, and he’s finally settling down. But the little guy is really putting up a fight with the Sandman.

Meanwhile…

“Dad, you don’t understand. I won this fair and square. If I let Deion play with it, he’ll break it.” Zion says, holding his toy to his chest. 

“I know, son.” Justin sits on the bed with the boy and wraps his arm around his shoulder. “Your brother’s got a lot of learning to do, but I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Deion just doesn’t understand how much it means to you.”

Zion leans into his father’s embrace. “Why not? I told him I won the class spelling bee.”

Justin smiles and rubs the young boy’s arm. “He’s just a little guy right now. Deion hasn't learned the importance of hard work yet. He’ll get there soon, but until then, how about you keep your prizes in your bag until you get home? Then you can play with your toy all you want when your brother isn’t looking. How’s that sound?” Zion looks up at his dad and smiles back at him with his matching grin.

“I can do that, daddy.” 

“Alright, buddy, how about you tell me all about this spelling bee?” Justin asks, making the kid’s face bean with excitement.

“Okay! So it was me, and Liza, and Dia…

As Zion tells his dad about his exciting victory, I’m finally able to breathe a sigh of relief, thanks to our 3-year-old, who is now passed out on the couch. 

I softly chuckle as baby snores come from Deion’s pout. Then, get off the floor and scoop him up, taking him to his dinosaur-themed room and tucking him in. 

“My poor baby.” I frown at his sweet brown, tear-streaked cheeks. Both boys look just like their father, from their deep, sunken eyes to the undertone of their skin.

The truth is, you wouldn’t be able to tell I was their momma, but I have the stretch marks and wide hips to prove it.

As I walk out of Deion’s room, Justin closes Zion’s door and winks at me. “Is he asleep, too?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, he’s not upset anymore. Daddy got it all under control.” He smiles, showcasing his pearly white teeth. 

I raise my brows in amusement. “Oh really, Daddy handled it without any tears?” We close the space between us, his hands finding their home around my hips just above the swell of my ass.

“Mhmm, you know me. Never gotta worry about me with my boys.” 

I hum softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Well, since the boys are down. Looks like we finally have some time to ourselves.” I say casually but inciting a glimmer in his eyes. “We should have a closet date…”

He narrows his gaze, but his smirk remains. “A closet date? What’s that love?”

“You’ll just have to follow me and find out.” My hands briefly run down his chest, and then I take his hand, leading him to our walk-in closet.

“Baby, I hope this isn’t you getting me to help you rearrange your shoes. I told you just to hire a taskmaster for that.” I can hear the eye roll through the playfulness of his tender voice. I shake my head and continue to walk through our bedroom and into the closet, closing the door behind him. “Alright, we’re here. Will you tell me what this is now, baby?”

I hide my smirk with the mask of confusion. “Hmmm… well, I saw this idea in a video somewhere. I think it starts off like this…” I slowly backed him up to an empty wall. “And something like this…” I raise one hand to his neck, and the other rests on his chest.

The glimmer in his eyes returns as his hands return to my hips and then follow the curve of my rear. “Oh… I see now. Let me help you some, mamas.” His grip tightens on me, both hands grabbing my cheeks and pulling flushed against his fit body.

“Am I going in the right direction?” He asks huskily against my ear, lightly tugging at the lobe with his lips, successfully sending a wave of heat down my spine.

“Mhmm, you catch on fast,” I whisper as his lips move down my neck, quickly latching onto my pulse point, making my breath hitch. “Ohhhh… Baby…” 

My moans flow to his ears like sweet melodies as he nips and sucks at my sensitive skin before pulling up and capturing my lips with his in a slow passionate manner.

“I love your voice, mamas. Make some more of those beautiful noises for me.” He mumbles against my lips while sinking his hand down the fabric of my lounge pants and feeling the bare skin all the way down to my damp folds. “Mamas, fuck,” he growls, barely dipping his long fingers in and spreading my wetness up to my clit.

“Jus-Justin…” He swallows my moans and gently circles my sensitive button until my core is clenching around nothing.

“You had my pussy out all day while I was up in that office buried in film? I could’ve had you bent over my desk, worshipping my woman’s beautiful body all day?” He groans and traces the outline of my pussy.

“Jus- Daddy, please…” I whine into his muscular chest.

“You think after thinking about you and this wet ass pussy all day, I’m gonna let you off easy?” He chuckles and pulls his fingers away.

“No, daddy, please. I had to take care of the boys and��

“Shhh shhh, calm down mamas. I’m just playin’. You really thought I was gonna hold out? Nah nah nah, I need you just as bad as you need me.” He pecks my lips, then pulls the string, holding my pants up. I shiver, feeling the draft on my pulsing cunt.

Justin takes his time undoing his belt and dropping his jeans. “You know, I was thinking… It’d be nice to have a little sweetpea like her momma running around here.” He whispers as he pulls his thick length from his boxers.

“Ohhh, I need that…” 

His smirk grows widely on his lips. “What a little princess or…” He hooks my leg over his waist and rubs his dick on my heat.

“Both!” My hips move against his on their own accord. 

A deep chuckle fills my ears. “You gonna let me fill you up with another baby, mamas? Give us the missing piece from our family. You gonna make me a daddy to a little princess, mamas? My beautiful Queen, my wife, the love of my life…”

I nod my head avidly. “Yes, Justin. I want you to fill me up, pump me full of your cum. I wa- need it, I wanna have your baby so bad.”

“I’ll give it to you, baby. What my queen wants, she gets. I’ll give you anything and everything. I’m gonna need to hold on and breathe, baby. Okay?” He lifts my head for confirmation.

“Yes, daddy.” 

He dips his head to place a sweet, loving kiss on my lips. “Good girl.” His grip on my leg tightens as his free hand lines his dick up to my core. “Breathe baby…” 

I lay my head on his chest to match his steady breaths while he slowly sheathes himself inside me. “There you go, good girl.” His voice’s gritty as he holds back, letting my pussy stretch nicely around his thickness.

“Oh-hhh.” My short, oval nails dig into his shoulders as he sinks in, inch by breathtaking inch. 

“Baby… Talk to me, mamas.” He groans, withdrawing everything but the tip. “How you doin’?”

I smile against his chest. He’s also so attentive during sex, no matter where, how, or when he’s taking me. Making sure he doesn’t hurt me more than it should at first, always prioritizing my pleasure over his. 

“Justin…”

“Yes, mama, what is it?” He answers softly.

I look up into his dark chocolate eyes. “I need you… to fuck me…”

“You sure, baby, we can go as slow as you want?” His big, warm hand cups my cheek, his thumb gliding over my cheekbone.

“Daddy, I need it.” I voice innocently while giving him dark ‘fuck me’ eyes. He bites his lip and flips us so my back is against the wall.

“Fuck, those beautiful brown eyes, you know exactly what you’re doing, huh?” He smirks, kisses my temple, and then wraps my other leg around his waist. “I can’t wait to see you glowing and growing my baby again.”

For a moment, my heart bursts with joy. A bubbly smile paints my face as my mind fills with ideas and images of what my husband would look like as a girl dad. 

Then he dips his lips to my ear, and he growls, “Take this dick mamas.” His thick, veiny dick drags me from those thoughts as it fills my pussy deliciously, drawing out muted screams and deep breaths. 

“Goddamn, you feel good, always so tight. Like you were made for me.” He moans, thrusting hungrily in and out of my slick warmth. 

His tip hits that spongy spot with one long drag, making my back arch. “Fuck! Daddy!” 

“Mamas, you’re killing me here. We can’t wake up the boys.” He groans breathlessly but continues to bully my g spot with his fat tip. My dull nails drag up and down his back, whimpers and sharp moans leaving my lips. 

“Mamas…” He starts, then fixes the problem with his mouth instead, blurring my moans with his lips. 

Our sounds of pleasure mix together while the slapping of his skin on mine prevails.

You can’t fix every problem.

✧･ﾟ: *

“So, why closet sex when I could’ve just made love to you in this big-ass comfy bed? You hit your head on the wall like three times.” Justin mumbles against my chest as we lay under the covers, legs wrapped together, happily spent.

“I told you, I saw it in a video.” I shrugged, tracing the patterns in his cornrows.

“Why did they do it in the closet in the video then?” He looks up at me.

I bite my lip and chuckle hesitantly. “Their kids were watching TV in their living room.”

He snorts, shaking his head. “You just wanted me to fuck you in that closet, huh?” He climbs up and kisses my lips, softly biting my lower lip.

“Guilty.” I moan, rolling us over and putting my hands on either side of his head, smirking. “Now, wanna see if we can fit in round two before the boys wake up?”

“My girl… I love the way you think.” He smiles, pulling my head back to his lips.

And it all started because of a toy dinosaur.

[stravacious]

gary’s twin sister, nadine!!

i’m a sucker for the bonnie & neddy episode :’)

[lingrimmart]

Lazy and Roui are two music nerds who love talking about their favorite genres and arguing about music history.

But neither of them had any talent for playing or making music. If they did, they would start their own band, for sure.

A release from our Patreon! ☆

[astralaffairs]

hi!! before i go i jus wanna say, I love your work 🙏🏽 and I finally watch hamilton last night so I might write for it as well 😋😋 but i have a drabble idea.

anyways— thomas having a dance/ball for a campaign during the election and he meets aaron’s little sister, mc, who snuck in. and he can’t help but take interests in her.

“Now, what’s a lady like you doin’ getting a drink just for yourself? Nobody’s offered to do that for you yet?”

Y/N froze as her fingers met the stem of the champagne flute. She had promised herself she would stay to the outskirts of the ball, and her only goal for the night had been to avoid courting attention. However, the packed room was warm, and it was only more so at its perimeter under the lights, and the crisp bubbly had looked oh-so-inviting.

She turned with a polite smile as she picked up the glass, but her eyes widened when she saw the man behind her with his gleaming smile and his velvet suit. She recognized him instantly; after all, she’d seen him before, and he’d even been in her home, but they’d never formally met. He raised an eyebrow when her smile faltered. “I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had a chance to speak to much of anyone just yet.”

“Then I’m gonna have to count myself lucky to have found you when I did. Thomas Jefferson.” He offered her a hand as he introduced himself, and when she took it, he dipped down to press a soft kiss to her knuckles. Her eyes went even wider.

She cleared her throat as he drew himself back up to his full height, still holding her by the fingertips, and it took a moment for it to occur to her to withdraw her hand. “You’re the host of this ball, then, if I’m not mistaken. Thank you for opening your home to us like this.”

“Believe me, sugar, the pleasure’s all mine,” he said. “Who’re you here with? Feel like I’ve seen you around, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Oh, um, my family’s here somewhere. I came on my own, though, and I was planning to meet them here.”

“Your family?” He pursed his lips. “You’re not a Schuyler, are you?”

“No, no, certainly not,” she replied before hastily adding, “although the Schuylers are lovely people, of course. To be a part of their family would make one lucky.”

“So you know the Schuylers, then?” he mused, and she nodded. His growing smile was making her mouth go dry. “I know where I recognize you from; you’re a Burr, aren’t you? Aaron’s sister?”

“I am, yes.” Her smile was tense, laced with unease. His grin was bright as he plucked a drink for himself off of the table behind them.

“So why haven’t I seen you at one of these before? Your family trying to keep you locked away from all the politics?” he asked, and as her eyebrows fell, he could see the look in her eyes sour.

“They’ve decided I can’t be trusted at this kind of event,” she said bitterly, and he quirked a brow. “Aaron claims he’s afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and jeopardize his career, but really, I think he just can’t deal with the idea of splitting people’s attention between us.”

“But you finally proved yourself trustworthy?” he asked mildly, taking a sip of his drink, and she shrugged uncomfortably.

“I suppose so.”

“Then where’s your dear brother now, hm? Why aren’t you here with the rest of your family?” He watched her expectantly, and when she didn’t answer right away, his grin broadened. “They don’t even know you’re here, do they?”

“No, and you’re not going to be the one to tell them,” she said sharply, pointing her champagne flute at him. He raised his eyebrows, amused by the fervor in her tone. “I had to walk miles alone in the dark to get here; I am not being thrown out as soon as I arrive.”

“Well, sweetheart, if you’re not with them, then really, I should be sendin’ you on your way.” Despite the threat, his voice was breezy, and she frowned.

“And what do you have to gain from kicking me out?”

“The respect and appreciation of your family,” he suggested blithely. “The knowledge that I’m not leavin’ a young lady to walk home alone ‘n vulnerable at the end of the night. ‘S just the right thing to do, really.”

She eyed his small smile for a moment before slowly asking, “But despite that, you’d rather I stay, wouldn’t you?” He shrugged unabashedly. “You’re quite shameless, aren’t you, Mr. Jefferson?”

“Only on a good day.” He winked as he took a sip of his drink. “After all, you went through all that effort to get here. There’s gotta be a good reason for it, huh?”

“Of course. I’m here to expand my mind just like everyone else," she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“And not for the charming future president we’ve got roaming the ball?”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware there was one. Let me know if you see him?”

His full laugh proved him undeterred, and Y/N’s self-satisfied smile was reluctant. "'M glad to see you inherited more of the family wit than your brother seemed to."

"Please, don't tell him that. A lady needs to keep some things a secret."

"It'll stay between us, then," Thomas said, "but I don't think I ever got your name."

"Why, so you know whose presence to report to my brother?"

"So I know who to ask after the next time I see him." His response was quick, and it had Y/N on her heels. Her eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, but when she opened her mouth to answer—

"Y/N." Both she and Thomas turned on their heels at the loud voice to find her brother striding across the room toward them, and her groan was unchecked. The fury in Aaron's voice was barely contained. "What in the world do you think you're possibly doing here, sneaking out after dark? How did you even get here?"

"I brought myself, since nobody else was willing to take me," she bit back, and Thomas raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

"That wasn't your decision to make," Aaron snapped. "We are a family, and you have to respect that—"

"Respect what? That you have total control over my life in the name of family values? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" she asked. "I respect that you have a career and a reputation to maintain, but I am a person, and—"

"And nothing, Y/N. Put the drink down, and leave Mr. Jefferson at peace," he demanded, and Y/N narrowed her eyes, her jaw set. Aaron turned to Thomas, and much of the fire in his voice had subsided when he said, "I'm sorry for her intrusion, Thomas. We didn't know she had followed us here, and we'll send her home at once."

"Now, Aaron, what makes you think she's uninvited company?" Thomas asked, and both Y/N's and Aaron's brows were raised. "Y/N's my guest here this evening; 's the opposite of an intrusion."

He frowned, glancing between Thomas and Y/N. "You mean you're responsible for her presence here tonight?"

"Well, I invited her, so I suppose you could say that," he said casually, and if he winked when he caught Y/N's eye, Aaron didn't think anything of it. Aaron's lips were pursed and his shoulders tense as he glanced between them.

"Why didn't you tell me Thomas had invited you?" he asked Y/N, and she shrugged.

"I didn't think you'd want to hear it, and I didn't want you trying to prevent me from coming."

"If I'd known he asked you to come—"

"So, what, my personhood is dependent on his permission now?"

"Your presence here is, at least."

"As a Burr, I would've been welcome either way."

"Not unattended, however."

"I can attend to myself just fine."

"You know that isn't what I mean when—"

"Aaron, was there somethin' else you needed?" Thomas cut him off, and Aaron's gaze was affronted when it snapped to him. However, he held his tongue. "I was just about to ask Y/N to dance, assuming that's her decision to make 'n all."

Y/N had to bite back her smile at his words, and although Aaron seemed to recognize the challenge in them as his jaw ticked, he said, "Of course. I'm sorry to have interrupted."

"Don't sweat it. Your concern for your sister is awful sweet, even if it isn't needed here," Thomas responded, his smile warm.

"'Concern' isn't how I'd describe it," Y/N muttered bitterly, and Thomas nudged her with his elbow. She frowned.

"Carry on 'n enjoy the rest of the ball, though, and please send my best to your wife," he said. Aaron could only offer a tense smile in response.

“You as well. I suppose I should go find Theodosia.” He looked down skeptically at Y/N. “How are you planning to get home?”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I…” She hadn’t thought that far, so her gaze was hopeful when it snapped to Thomas, who held her with a hand at the small of her back.

“I’ll arrange for a carriage to take her home,” he promised. “Don’t you worry, Burr. She’s in safe hands.”

“Right,” he said hesitantly, looking Thomas over. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t do anything stupid, Jefferson.”

“‘S like you don’t even know who you’re talkin’ to,” Thomas said incredulously, and Aaron scoffed.

“I’m sure.” He barely spared them both another glance before departing unceremoniously, shaking his head all the while, and Thomas chuckled. Y/N turned back toward him.

“You’re a regular local hero,” she said sardonically, but the smile in her eyes betrayed her bored tone. Thomas grinned.

“I do try, sweetheart,” he said lightly, “maybe even in a way that deserves a ‘thank you’?”

“Thank you.” Her voice was sincere. “Really. I owe you.”

“Well, if you mean that,” he said, and his eyes were shining as he looked down at her, “I wouldn’t mind making good on that dance I mentioned. Unless you’re in a real rush to get back to your dear old brother.”

He offered her his arm with an eyebrow raised, and she left her empty glass on the table behind them when she took it, drawing a wide grin from him. “How could I say no to our charming host?"

[swanimagines]

PRICE OF LOVE | JEFFERSON

Summary: Imagine being Jefferson's wife and working in a little tea shop in Storybrooke during the curse that Jefferson visits every day because he wants to see you.

There you were again. Smiling at customers, making small talk and looking as beautiful as ever. Jefferson swallowed, before forcing a small smile on his face and walked to the counter. You turned around to see him and your smile just grew wider.

"Hi Mr. Jefferson! Your usual?"

Jefferson nodded. "Yes please."

You turned around again to brew his tea, and just like yesterday, and the day before that, and that, and that, he felt a sting in his heart. You had been in love back in the Enchanted Forest, you were his wife, but now you didn't even remember him. The pain was unbearable. He wanted to say something, anything which could make you remember, but nothing came out of his mouth. Anything he would say would just push you away because you'd think he's gone bonkers. Mad as a hatter. So all he could do was stare into your beautiful eyes and think about how much he loved you, how trapped he was with all the memories of you, him and Grace, living happily in the Enchanted Forest. How you'd always come by his bed to serve him his morning tea and you'd always kiss him before he'd take the cup. Your smile made his day before he even got out of the bed, you had been so happy.

"Here's your tea," you snapped him out of his thoughts as you pushed a cup in front of him. "That makes-"

Jefferson nodded before you even finished, forcing a smile on his face again and handed you fifty dollars. "You don't have to say the price, I will always tip my favorite tea shop keeper who makes the best tea."

"You're always so kind, Mr. Jefferson," you said with another small smile and put the money into the counter. "I don't know what did I do to deserve such kindness."

He smiled at you a little wider. "You have done nothing in particular, really. Just being yourself."

You smiled at that, looking downwards, clearly flustered by his words. Then the bell rang as the door opened, and Jefferson glanced over his shoulder, seeing Regina and his smile immediately faltered. She came inside and stood beside him, smiling at you with feigned sweetness.

"I'd like some tea on the go," she said and you nodded.

"Of course, Madam Mayor. What kind of tea would you like?" you asked, gesturing towards the menu above you.

"A large chai latte," Regina told you without even looking at the menu. "And make sure it's extra hot."

"Of course," you said and made her drink, pushing it towards her. "That makes two fifty."

Regina dug her purse for a moment before giving you a few coins. Then she turned towards Jefferson. "You, with me."

Jefferson clenched his jaw, but complied, following Regina out. They walked for a little bit, before he scoffed.

"I didn't know you like chai latte, Mrs. Mayor. Pitch black tea fits more of your style."

"And I didn't know I gave you a permission to seduce her," Regina sighed. "She has a new life now, Jefferson. You have to stay out of it, or something bad might happen."

Jefferson didn't reply to that, knowing that arguing about it wouldn't change anything. He just kept quiet and followed Regina until he could turn towards his mansion. But despite Regina's warning, he knew that he'd be in your shop again tomorrow. He just had to see you, he had to see you smile, to know you're alright. He wanted to keep making you smile with his words - maybe you'd even fall in love with him again. 

He knew it all was wishful thinking, but he couldn't help but feel hopeful about it every time he saw you. Maybe it was stupid, but it kept him sane around this madness…

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Sebastian Stan characters finding out you’re pregnant » Jefferson/Mad Hatter

Pairings: Jefferson x Female Reader

Summary: Jefferson finds out you’re pregnant.

Warnings: Fluff, language, pet name

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

The first words out of Jefferson’s mouth would be “Grace is going to be a big sister?”

He would be overly excited about having another baby. He’s happy that you’re the mother of his second baby.

When you and Jefferson tell Grace, she would be overly excited too and she would say “I get to be a big sister!”

Graces would be so excited to tell her friends.

This isn’t Jefferson’s first time being a dad, he would be a little more prepared than he was the first time.

Grace would want to be your little helper if you need anything. If you want a snack or something to drink, she’ll go to the kitchen to get you something to eat and drink.

Grace saying “I want a little sister.”

You buying a Grace a shirt that says “Big Sister” on it.

Grace would try to help you and Jefferson set up the nursery.

Jefferson talking to the baby everyday, especially every night before bed.

Grace would sneak out of her bedroom after you and Jefferson tucked her in for the night just to hug your baby bump and say “I didn’t get to say goodnight to sissy.”

Grace would draw you and Jefferson pictures and describe every single detail of it.

Jefferson wouldn’t mind the gender of the baby just as long as the baby is healthy.

Jefferson would have his hand on your baby bump at all times, especially when you two are cuddling and when you two are sleeping so he can be close to you.

Grace asking you and Jefferson where babies come from. You would giggle and look at Jefferson while he comes up with an appropriate way of telling his daughter where babies come from.

Grace wanting to take an ultrasound picture to school so she can show her friends her new baby brother or baby sister. She would tell them her little sibling is a girl without knowing it first, because she’s excited.

Jefferson being the gentleman he is would give you any kind of comfort like massages. For example, if you complain about your feet or back hurting, he’ll give you a massage.

You would feel a little insecure when your baby bump gets bigger. Jefferson would tell you how beautiful you are and the baby bump makes you even more beautiful.

Grace would shop for baby clothes with you and Jefferson. She would immediately go to the girl section of the baby clothes.

Over all, Jefferson would be excited and happy that he gets to do this all over again. Grace would be happy and excited too.

[hamilfreak]

Madison im watching u why you try not to laugh bruh

ok also solos of hamilton and jeffburrmads

annnnd song is blues by Geordie greep kinda corny but makes me think of hamilton T_T

[cementcornfield]

the ONLY Unanimous First-Team All Pro selections for the 2024 season 🔥🔥

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Princess and the fool

John Egan X Pilot! Reader

Summary: Y/n and Bucky's time in the camp...

Warning: Swearing/ historical inaccuracies/ sexism/ mention of rape (but not the actual thing)/ mention of getting shot/

Word count: 2.07k

The siren went off 5 minutes ago, they were all talking about where the Americans were attacking. ‘’Berlin? It sounds like Berlin’’ Y/n suggested. The guys agreed as the sound of explosion was the only thing they were hearing. ‘’Ah, good fucking Monday Adolf’’ Bucky chuckled. ‘’You think the 100th is with them?’’ Crank asked. ‘’They gotta be’’ Bucky replied. ‘’First daylight raid on Germany’s most precious town, it must me a rough one’’ Buck said. As the guys and Y/n were chuckling, screams echoed, before they knew it, the sounds of 3-gun shots came to the men’s ears. ‘’That’s a lot closer’’ Crank stated. The sound of someone shouting for help made Y/n flinch. ‘’The hell was that?’’ Bucky asked as he got up from his chair.

Buck, Bucky and Y/n ran outside with other POW, 3 guys came from behind the bungalow, holding a very injured Harry. ‘’Shit, Harry’s shot! What the hell happened?’’ Buck exclaimed. Y/n helped the guys holding Harry and quickly looked at his injury. ‘’They shot him for no reason!’’ one of them exclaimed. German soldiers walked up to see what the commotion was about, they came from behind the building, which meant that they shot him.

Bucky walked up to one of the Kraut soldiers and tried to keep his cool. ‘’Why would you shoot him?’’ he raised his voice. The commotion got the attention of the other POW as they got out of their barracks. ‘’He was out of the blocks’’ one of the Germans justified. ‘’We need a doctor, get Glemnitz!’’ Buck ordered. It was pure chaos as the men were trying to help Harry, German soldiers were yelling at everyone to get back inside, and guard dogs were barking. It went so fast, next thing Y/n knew, one of the guards let loose a dog. ‘’Woah, woah! Get that dog!’’ Bucky yelled.

The dog ran past her and chose its pray, the guy right next to her, she didn’t know him. Bucky pulled her by the shoulder to protect her from the German Shepherd. Y/n had his blood on her leg. ‘’Get that dog off him!’’ one of the guys yelled. She was in shock; it could’ve been her. The dog could’ve chosen her. ‘’Everyone gets back inside, now!’’ the German officer ordered. Egan led Y/n back inside, he became protective of her when they found out what the Germans did to female P.O.W. ‘’They’re going to kill us one at the fucking time, Buck’’ he breathed out as they made their way back inside.

Y/n sat down on a chair, watching the blood on her foot. ‘’Hey, you okay?’’ Buck asked the woman. She slowly looked at them. ‘’It could’ve been me’’ she said, her voice not getting louder than a whisper. ‘’You’re okay, don’t let them break you’’ Crank said. Something shifted in her brain, she was getting out of here alive, whatever it took she was getting out of this god forsaken place. ‘’Fuck those fucking Germans’’ she mumbled. Bucky chuckled lightly as he heard her swearing.

‘’Mail call!’’ the guys were waiting for this. Y/n had no one to write to her, since her W.A.S.P status wasn’t recognized by the military, her mother didn’t even know that she was in the army. The letters were passed, none for Bucky and Y/n, they looked at each other as the guys opened their envelope. ‘’Who’s yours from, Buck?’’ Gale was smelling his letter; it was clearly Marge. ‘’Marge’’ he said, smiling. ‘’Marge’’ Bucky mimicked, making Y/n laugh. She got up from her seat and went beside Bucky. ‘’My dear Buck, I love you, and miss you.’’ She finished her imitation with kissing sound, making the soldiers laugh. She even earned a smile from Buck. Bucky got up and followed her into her joke. ‘’My dear Marge, I love you, Bucky is annoying me, but he’s my best friend, I miss you, bla bla bla, I love you’’ he did the same as Y/n, making kissing sound. Everyone was giggling and looking at the pair acted out the letters. ‘’Alright you too’’ Buck chuckled. Bucky and Y/n looked at each other, laughing before they got back to their seat.

They didn’t know what time it was, but the 3 of them couldn’t sleep. ‘’In my last letter, I popped the question, and she said yes’’ Buck smiled. Y/n smiled back to him; she laid on top of Bucky’s back, since she lost a lot of weight from eating only potatoes, she wasn’t heavy. ‘’That’s good, I’m happy for you, Buck’’ Y/n whispered. ‘’I was thinking that you could be my best-man’’ he said, looking at Bucky. ‘’I will be your best-man, Buck’’ he replied. ‘’Of course, you’ll get an invitation, Y/n’’ Buck smiled. ‘’I will gladly attend your wedding. And I have to meet her, she seems lovely.’’

March, raids were more often, and the prisoners were growing tired of this place. Y/n had just fallen asleep before commotion outside woke everyone up. German soldiers were running outside, near the fence. ‘’What the fuck is going on?’’ she yawned. Bucky was looking outside the window to try and get an answer. ‘’I don’t know, but they’re rushing like crazy.’’

‘’3 tunnels, how the fuck did they do that?’’ Bucky exclaimed as Colonel Clark explained what happened in the night. Brits tried to escape via tunnels that they dug, they didn’t know how much got out, but the Germans didn’t look happy. ‘’They’ve been digging for over a year’’ Clark explains. Y/n looked at Buck, then Bucky, they’ve been talking about an escape plan for a while now. When Clark left the room, they all looked at each other. ‘’When the weather gets better, we’re getting out of here.’’ Bucky stated. ‘’Yeah, in a coffin’’ Y/n scoffed. ‘’The odds are against us; you might want to find a plan that would actually work.’’ Buck explained. ‘’When I do, you’re both coming with me’’ Bucky promised.

By summertime, she was slowly starting to lose her mind, this place was sucking her soul and her spirit. On a happy note, the prisoner got new uniforms, suited for summer. Hers was a grey tank top with forest green pants that were too big for her, she used a shoelace as a belt, the Germans were kind enough to give her a bra, she didn’t know where they get it, and to be honest, she didn’t want to know. She got a leather jacket, for the colder nights, and if she was too cold, the boys were nice enough to let her borrow a shirt with long sleeve. Buck wanted to take a stomp out of the ground to use its wood for fire, Y/n didn’t want to do that all day, so she used her body as a motivation for the soldiers, when the were pulling the stomp, she was sitting on the group, topless, only in her black bra. She wanted to tan, but if she could help to motivate the troops, she was happy to help. Plus, the guys had other thing to worry about than try to rape her. Bucky was the one they were more worried about, he was really going crazy, talking to himself, playing baseball with himself, laughing alone and other things, he was going crazy.

‘’Hey! Any of you want to play some ball?’’ he asked Murph, but he was busy pushing the stomp. ‘’C’mon, I can even let you win!’’ Bucky pleaded. Y/n looked at Bucky, putting her shirt back on as she got up. ‘’Either pitch in or knock it off’’ Murph said, sightly pushing Bucky on the soldier. ‘’Why don’t you shut the hell up?’’ Bucky pushed Murph back. ‘’What the hell is wrong with you?’’ Buck asked as he pushed Bucky on the ground. ‘’You’re going to help or stay out of the way’’ Buck says as Y/n watched Bucky put his hands behind his head, making himself comfortable on the ground. Bucky had a teasing flame burning in his eyes. ‘’You’re the new king of the camp, and I’m just in the way?’’ he teased, putting one of his legs over the other. Y/n got closer to Bucky, who kept taunting Buck about the fact that he just wanted to work. ‘’Bucky, c’mon get up’’ she tried to reason with him, no success. ‘’I’m sorry, come on, get up, you fool'' Buck said, offering his hand. ‘’King Stump, stumpity, stump, get to work’’ Bucky taunted, kicking Buck’s hand with his foot. Then, the guys started to fight on the ground, until Buck punched Bucky in the face. It was like the punch he got helped him to get out of his craziness at the moment. ‘’HEY that’s enough!’’ Colonel Clark yelled. Y/n helped Buck get up. ‘’You’re going to fight me too?’’ she asked Bucky as she offered her hand. He took it, without saying anything and got up.

German officer started to run around, a message in German got broadcasted on the camp’s speaker. Buck looked around. ‘’They landed, didn’t they’’ he stated. Bucky scoffed and looked at his friend. ‘’Y’a think’’ he said, sarcastically. ‘’Quit being a smartass, Bucky. We’re all tired here, yet you don’t hear us yapping about it’’ she said, while exhaling. ‘’Sorry princess’’ he said. She was too tired to argue with him, so she rolled her eyes and got back in her barracks.

Fresh meat was coming in, that’s how Y/n liked to call the new P.O.W coming in the camp, but this time, people were talking more, Red Tails pilot were walking in the camp. Y/n had a lot of respect for them, she got the chance to fly with them once, she could safely say that they were one the best pilots she ever flew with. ‘’They look nice’’ she said, looking at them.

They were all very into their game of card when the door opened. It was 2 Red Tails pilot. ‘’Second Lieutenant Alexender Jefferson, 332nd Fighter Group’’ one of the two introduced himself. ‘’Second Lieutenant Richard D. Macon, 332nd.’’ The other said. Y/n smiled to them; other boys didn’t say anything. ‘’Gentleman, welcome to paradise!’’ she said, sarcastically. There was a little bit of tension in the room, but Y/n looked at Richard, he injured his neck and couldn’t climb up a bunk. ‘’Here, take mine’’ she offered the man, who thanked her with a small nod. The next day, Buck, Bucky and she were seated in the stairs in front of their barracks. ‘’You trust ‘em?’’ Buck asked. ‘’Yeah, I do’’ Y/n said. ‘’Think we should too’’ Bucky added as Y/n nodded. That same night, she watched as Alexender was drawing the girl of his dream, Richard was teasing him. Like every other night, she couldn’t sleep. ‘’Girl of my dream’’ Alexender said, showing his drawing to his friend. She seated on her bed. ‘’Can I see her?’’ she asked him, the two men were surprised that she was talking to them. ‘’What?’’ Alexender asked, a little bit confused. She jumped down from her bunk and seated at the chair in the middle of the room. ‘’Can I see the girl of your dreams?’’ she asked again. He turned his book and showed the woman his drawing. ‘’She’s beautiful, you’re an artist?’’ she asked. He shook his head. ‘’What’s your name?’’ Richard asked her. ‘’Major Y/n Y/l/n, W.A.S.P division. But you can call me Y/n.’’ she smiled to the two men in front of her. ‘’Why are you nice to us, Y/n?’’ Richard whispered. ‘’Because you guys saved my life once, and I think that the Red Tails are the best pilots in the hole U.S army.’’ She looked at Richard in the eyes.

Buck was seated at the table, listening to the radio when some German officer yelled. ‘’Quick hide it’’ Murph said. He hid the radio just in time as the officer entered the room. Y/n looked at the officer before looking at Buck. ‘’Evening, sir’’ she said, getting his attention. ‘’Lights out!’’ he said, turning off the lights as he left the room. ‘’They’re close’’ Buck said. Y/n opened a candle, so that people could see a little bit. ‘’Really close’’ Y/n finished his sentence. ‘’We’re going home’’ Bucky smiled.

[indigestibletruths]

Joe Burrow’s new reputation officially started🤩

even the shine in the eyes is different🥺😍🥰

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Players

Pair: LSU!Joe Burrow x LSU basketball player!reader (friends with benefits), minor LSU!Joe Burrow x OC

Descr: You just want to focus on your career and have a good time in college. Do you make some mistakes? Sure, but why is everyone you know trying to change your mind?

TW: 18+ MINORS DNI | toxic relationships, cheating, lying, language, smut/its nasty, oral (f & m rec), fingering, unprotected sex (don’t try this at home), public sex, cocky/fuckboy!joe, commitment issues, betrayal, arguments, gaslighting (SO MUCH).

Main Masterlist

WC: 6.7k

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ 💔 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

I don’t know how I keep getting myself in this situation.

The situation: It’s late, no one else is in the gym. The perfect setting to get in a quiet workout. That’s all I wanted and had for the first hour before catching his reflection in the mirror in front of me.

Joe Burrow. He’s not nearly as sweaty as I am, meaning he’s not here for this kind of workout; the lip bite, the fiery look in his eyes, and the way his gaze travels my sports bra and tight shorts-wearing figure says it all. He smirked when our eyes locked in the mirror and walked towards me until his chest was against my back.

Without breaking eye contact, I bent over and placed the dumbbells I had held on the ground. His hands quickly clutch my hips as my ass accidentally pushes back on him before leaning back up and removing myself from his hold.

In an attempt to regain his composure, Joe keeps himself busy putting away my weights and other equipment while I pack up my stuff. While he’s distracted, I leave the weight room and turn the corner for the lobby. But before I could walk any further, a large hand reaches out and pulls me back into a secluded locker room and I’m pushed against the lockers. I barely have time to laugh before his lips are shoved onto mine, and his hands are gripping my ass.

“I texted you.” He groans, sucking on my neck.

“My phone must’ve died. No marks!” He picks his head up and rolls his eyes. Then he pulls out his phone and calls my number. The sound of my ‘dead’ phone ringing makes him clench his jaw while I snort. “Whoops.”

“Yeah and so was that hickey.” He smirks as I turn to find a mirror.

“You fucking didn’t, what the hell Joe.” I curse finding the shiny purple marks littered on my neck.

“Next time, you’ll pick up when I call.” Then, he pulls me from the back of my neck onto his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeding his needy lips and slowly succumbing to lust building between us.

“I don’t have to do shit.” I moan against his lips as he wedges a thick thigh between my legs.

“But you want to.” He groans as I grind down on his thigh, providing my own friction as well as for his bulge. “That’s enough of that.” 

He removes his thigh and palms his erection through his sweat shorts. “On your knees.”

Biting back a smirk, I start to let my hands slowly drag down his body as I kneel for him. My eyes stay locked on his. His pupils are blown out with the thinnest blue outline, my painstakingly calm actions testing his limits, while my face shows the most pure wide-eyed doe, staring up at an unknown danger.

My touch trails down his thighs to his knees while my face is at eye level with his desire. “What do I do now?” My voice, painfully innocent, only makes him grow harder.

One of his hands cups my jaw, his thumb gently padding on the fat of my lips. “I think you know.”

His voice was raspy and low like gravel. Softly smiling, I lean into his hand, slip his thumb in my mouth, and twirl my tongue around it. Joe sucks in a gasp, his teeth gnawing at his lips as I let his thumb go with a slick pop. 

“Is that what you want?”

That’s how I ended up where I am now, with his hand gripping the back of my head as I bob up and down his cock on the locker room floor. With his deep curses and praises, along with my light gags and the sound of my slick mouth welcoming his pretty pink dick echoing throughout the vacant room.  

“Fuck you’re such a good girl.”

“Doing such a good job sucking my cock, you like that don’t you.”

“I can never get enough of this mouth.”

His whines and groans only fuel me to take him in deeper, his tip now well bullying the back of my throat as I moan around him. “Oh shit.” I open my eyes to the clang of his head hitting the metal lockers, and an overwhelming sense of pride fills my belly.

“I’m gonna come, shit just like that.” 

He tries to hold on for a moment longer, not wanting the warmth of my mouth to disappear, but he makes the mistake of looking down at me.

The slight bulge of my throat, the streaks of tears running down my pretty face, my pouty lips coated in his slick and spit, but the final straw is me looking right up at him that has him letting out the deepest moan and releasing his load down my awaiting throat.

I waste no time swallowing as much of his cum as I can before he comes down from his breathtaking high and pulls out.

“Holy shit, I’ll never get used to that.” He sighs, pulling up his shorts and leaning back on the locker, happily spent.

“You’re welcome, tell your friends.” I croak reaching for the water bottle in my bag.

“I will not be doing that. Your mouth is for me and me only. Best fucking head I’ve ever gotten.” He snorts as I roll my eyes.

“Better than your girlfriend?” 

He smirks and crouches down to my level. “You know it, baby.” Then kisses my swollen lips.

“Joe,” I sigh, pulling away. “We should get out of here.”

“Yeah, it's pretty late, huh?” We both nod, and he helps me to my feet, swinging my bag on his back.

“So, my place or yours?” 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

So, the cycle doesn’t stop; the purely sexual desire between us never goes away. It doesn’t matter that we’ve had the same routine of me ignoring him only to end up back in his bed days later. Or that our thing takes away the time he could be spending with the one he claims as ‘his girl.’ A girl I’ve gotten to know well, considering we’re teammates and we live together. Do I feel guilty for what’s going on? Sure, but it’s not like I have feelings for him. We just like to fuck around; I mean, we’re young, so who’s gonna stop us.

Amaya doesn’t have to know.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

A month later, we all get invited to a Halloween-themed frat party. It’s the last big event before my Junior season, and the entire team is going. We decided to go with a Tinker Bell/ Pixie Hollow theme. I’m Iridessa, the light fairy, wearing a satin pastel yellow strapless crop top, a matching skirt, and a gold flower crown. Amaya’s supposed to be Silvermist, the water fairy, and even though he was never supposed to be a part of it, Joe took it upon himself to be Peter Pan like the drama queen he is. We all doubt he’ll do the costume any justice, but no one can stop him from wearing whatever he wants.

As I’m finishing up my makeup, I notice Amaya still in her pjs, sitting at her computer. “Hey, aren’t you going to the party tonight?”

She sighs and leans on her hand. " I can’t. I have a paper due at 8 a.m. and am barely halfway done.”

“Aww, I was excited for us to be fairies together.” I pout, fixing my crown.

“I know, I just put this off forever, and I can’t let my grades slip- it’s a midterm. But have fun without me.” She smiles, but it doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I get that. We’ll definitely miss you, though. After we take a group picture, I’ll photoshop you into it.” We both chuckled as I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.  

“I appreciate it, oh Y/n!”

“Yea?” I turn back with a grin.

“If you see Joe, can you tell him we need to talk?” Something inside me trembles, but my smile stays intact.

“Yeah, of course, I hope he’s not in the doghouse.” I giggle, then walk out the door. “Fuck.” I huff, leaning against the wooden door and letting the situation weigh on me.

Why does she need to talk to him? Does she know something? Did someone tell her something? I don’t remember getting suspicious looks from anyone who didn’t already know about my thing with him. It was probably Ja’Marr trying to be a pain in the ass. He walks in on us one time and decides to use it as ammo for the rest of my life.

As I continued to think about every possible situation, I felt my phone buzz.

From: American Deli💋

I’m outside

Was it a horrible idea for Joe to give me a ride to this party that we were initially supposed to attend with friends? Yes, but somehow this shit was working out in my favor. For some reason, he wanted to see me before the party, and Amaya backed out. As far as I know, right now I’m in the clear.

I took one last breath and stood up straight to leave when I heard Amaya’s voice from outside the door. 

“Yeah, I’m coming. Give me some time; she just left. I know we have to act fast, but we can’t catch them together if she suspects something’s up. Yes, I know we’re talking about my boyfriend here. We don’t even know what happened that night; just because you saw them leave the gym together doesn't mean anything happened. Maybe his friends aren’t telling you shit because there’s nothing to say. I live with her, Ryan; I think I would know if she was fucking my boyfriend.”

Oh I'm in trouble.

As quietly as I can, I run down the stairs of my apartment and hop in his truck.

“You took your sweet ass time.” Joe rolls his eyes, then registers my outfit. “Oh shit, baby you put that on for me.”

“Not now Joe. Drive, just drive. We need to talk.”

“Better be about how much of that outfit I can ruin. If it’s not, I don’t wanna hear it.” He purses his lips, trying to peak at how short the skirt is.

“Joe, she knows.” I roll my eyes as his spare hand plays with the light fabric, barely covering my thighs and skirting as far away from his reach as possible.

“What are you talking about?” He stops at a red light and reaches over to pull my body closer to the middle console.

“Your girlfriend, asshole. She knows about us.” I sigh, letting him caress my warm caramel skin. 

We lock eyes for a soft moment. “I’ve never been an asshole to you.” 

“You were when we first met.” I challenge, making him chuckle and continue driving.

“Yea then you somehow landed on my dick after that. So I guess you liked it.” He winks in the rearview mirror.

“Oh fuck off, we shouldn't even be talking about that right now.”

He groans, one hand white-knuckling the wheel and the other clutching my thigh. “Why else are we going to this dumb party? Neither of us can drink or have any other kind of fun.”

“My season is literally about to start, Joe. Not everyone is the underdog right now.”

“Which is why we’re just going to have sex.” He says, completely ignoring the obvious.

“Joseph, your girlfriend is literally getting ready right now to catch us at this party doing exactly that. We can’t go.”

“Y/n, who gives a shit? You’ve been in the gym torturing me for a week. Now you’re saying we can't fuck tonight?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” I nod, crossing my arms. “And you don’t need me to get your dick wet, go ask your girl for some.”

“Fuck that, I’d rather be fucking you than dating her any day.” Then, instead of turning on the road for the party, he pulls into an empty parking garage.

This is why I block him every couple of weeks because he loves saying stupid shit like that.

“Oh my god, you can’t say that. Why are you dating her then, huh? You barely go out; you’re only ever hanging on our couch. You don’t even invite her to your games. What’s this fucking for, then?” I huffed, my fuse shortening.

Joe puts the car in park and turns his attention to me. “You.” 

My eyes widen. “Excuse me?”

“You’re right. I don’t need to be with her. I want to be with you.” 

“No the fuck, you don’t.” Shaking my head as he goes on about his feelings.

“How are you going to sit here, in my truck, and tell me what I don’t want? I’m only with her because she’s your roommate. If I’m with her, I get to be with you.”

“You’re being dramatic. If you wanna break up with her, don’t use me to justify the fact that you’re a shitty boyfriend.” I spat, my nails digging into the seat.

He scoffs and slouches against the car door. “Look at who’s being dramatic now. This is the shit you never wanna hear, so I don’t say it.”

I groaned. “Please just stop. I told you-

Joe rolls his eyes. “No labels, no feelings, no commitments, just sex. Just mind-blowing, gravity-defying, amazing sex.” A mantra everyone should live and die by.

“Exactly, so why are you trying to fuck it up?!”

“I’m not. I’m here to have sex- you’re here to argue. You never cared about me having a girlfriend, and now that she might catch us, you want us to stop.” He scoffs.

“I never said we should stop Joe.” I look down and play with the yellow mesh of my skirt. I could hear the way he huffed into the air and unbuckled to free himself from restraints.

“What would us getting caught do, Y/n? Make it so I can fuck you at your place without having to worry about getting yelled at? What are you so afraid of?” He spat.

“I’m not trying to lose my scholarship, Joey!” I huffed locking eyes with his slightly dilated crystal blues.

“That’s bullshit. Having an affair with your roommate’s boyfriend does not threaten your scholarship. If it did, half of the school would be gone.” He deadpans.

I look away from his face and stifle the laugh in my throat. “Not like that. Don’t you think it will cause a rift within the team? What if she tries something?”

“You really think she wants to risk her scholarship over me? I am not that important- to her. She would've already found out if she wanted me as badly as you’re making it seem. Why hasn’t she called? Checked up to see if I was actually going to the party. She’d rather believe rumors from her friends than ask me this shit; shows how much she cares.” Joe snorts running his hands through his hair.

He has a point, but since when does he make sense?

“Fine, whatever. Take me back- wait, where the fuck are we?” He smirks.

“Well, if you’re done being a jealous little princess- or fairy.” I side-eyed him, but he continues. “You said we couldn’t fuck at the party, so…”

My eyes widen. “Joe, absolutely not. In your truck? The seats don’t even recline.”

“Who told you that?” He smirks, adjusts the driver’s seat to go all the way back and flips the headrest so it connects with the seat in the back. Then he pushes the middle console back for more room in the front. I just blink at his new transformer features that were not there a week ago.

“What the fuck?”

Then he lays down. “Yup, now come sit on my face.”

“In your truck?”

“Yeah.”

“On top of your face?”

“That’s what I said.”

I kiss my teeth and try to imagine his request. “No way, we won’t fit. Joe, there’s no way to do this comfortably. Can’t we just go to your place? I’ll do that thing you like?” I wiggle my brows and rest my hand on his jean-clad knee.

He lifts himself back up with a playful smirk. “First of all, I like everything you do, so I have no idea what you’re suggesting. Second, all you have to do is sit or lay back. I’ll put you in the backseat and get on the floor if you want.”

“Why are you being so damn persistent about this?” I chuckle.

He looks down as a flush coats his face. “Joe, did you have a dream about this?”

“You left me on delivered for a week. I had dreams about a lot of things.” He hesitantly laughs while scratching his neck.

“Okay, when did you have the one of me riding your face in your truck?” I smirk, sliding myself onto his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Tuesday, right after I reclined the seat to move some equipment.” It’s Saturday.

“You’ve been thinking about this all week?!” He drew his lower lip between his teeth and looked away from my eyes as his hands gently massaged my hips.

“No, my dick has. Which is a part of me, so, yeah, I have.” I may have let out a chuckle at that.

“How was this supposed to work with the party?” I ask, very intrigued, and I can sense his hesitation. 

“C’mon, tell me, " I murmur, studying his face enlightened by the shallow lights outside.

“It was technically supposed to be an ‘after I fuck you in the bathroom so everyone can hear you’ thing.” He shrugged.

I snort and rake my hands through his hair while holding his gaze. “Please tell me you put this kind of thought into your school work too.”

“Yeah-and football-it really helps.” He says in a rushed breath as his pupils dilate and his hands move to massage my ass. “So are you gonna stop yapping and sit back or what?”

I bite my lip to hold in a moan from his grip hardening. “I'm gonna try it your way first, if it doesn't work, we’re leaving.” 

“I’m tearing that tiny costume off of you no matter what, so it better.” His eyes flickering between your lips and eyes.

I mirror his look then smirk. “That’s enough chit-chat. Kiss me.” 

His brows raise as he pulls me closer. “Who said you were in charge here?” He whispered against my waiting lips.

I roll my eyes and reach for the door. “I could just leave.” He snatches my hand and starts kissing my wrist. My breath hitches as his lips travel up my arm to my neck, then sucks hard beneath my ear. “Joey..”

He grins against my skin and licks over the mark he definitely left there.

“Are you gonna be a good fairy and sit on my face, baby?”

༉ 3 orgasms later ༉

Joe’s cool hands caress my heated, sticky skin as I lay on his chest, recovering from an intense high. A deep chuckle wakes me from a post-high dreamscape. “What?” I mumbled, looking up at his satisfied grin.

“I think I broke your wings.”

“JOE, those took me four hours to make!” I exclaim, but it sounds more like a whine.

“Well, you weren’t exactly complaining when it happened. In fact, I think I recall you saying ‘don't stop’ over and over again while I… ” He trails off with a smirk and jerks his hips up.

“Fuck! Cut it out.” I gasped and smacked his chest. “I hate you.”

“Then get off my dick.” He chuckles.

I smirk, shifting my hips, causing him to groan and grab them. “No, I want you to suffer.”

“Or you just like being on top of me.” Then he raises his stupid eyebrows.

I scoff and climb off of him into the other seat. He has the nerve to laugh and grab my ankle. I try to yank it back, but his long fingers curl around me.

He spreads my legs, and his lips trail down my inner thighs until his face hovers-

My eyes widen, and pull him up by his hair. “What are you doing?” 

He smirks. “What does it look like?” Then moves up and puts his hand next to your head, effectively trapping me between him and the door.

“Right now…

He looked like a man who’d been starving for ages when he was really just insatiable. His lips are pink, slick, and swollen after an hour of abuse to my skin. His eyes were dark, filled with lust and endless need. His skin flushed almost the same pink as his lips due to exertion, but he showed no sign of stopping. Don’t get started on his neck or shoulder and how they resemble what getting mauled by a baby bear with no teeth would look like.

“You got an answer for me, princess?” Despite his casual tone, his stare sent a shiver down my spine. I shake my head as he frees me from my thoughts. “What, cat got your tongue?” 

He chuckles and dips down to my ear. “All that talk, and here you are, laid out all nice and innocent for me. But you’re not, no… You’re a dirty little slut, aren’t you? Answer me, y/n.”

My breath hitches as he kisses down my neck, then wraps his hand around my throat. “You can’t, can you?” His other hand trails down my body, stopping at the bottom of my top. 

“Wearing this damn costume like the teasing minx you are. Like you don’t know what you do to me… and you thought I was gonna let you walk into a frat house like this.” He scoffs, pulling down my strapless bra.

“God, I love your tits.” His mouth finds my nub, immediately lapping and kissing around it. 

“Joey…”

His gaze meets mine, and he chuckles. “Oh... so, now you can speak?” His hand tightens around my throat as his lips return to mine. 

“Please.” My voice muffled against his demanding lips. The kiss is harsh, his lips attacking mine with a hot, bruising force that has me gasping for air when he pulls away. 

“Are you going to be a good girl now?” He growls, releasing my neck from his grasp. I nod as he sucks on my pulse point and trails his free hand down my body. “I need to hear you say it, princess. Tell me you’re gonna be a good girl, and let me have my way with you.” 

As I’m about to respond, his fingers graze my sensitive nub. “Ahh Joey, please…”

“No, not until you ask nicely. Say you want me to ruin you, pretty girl.” His deep, authoritative tone caused my body to ache even more for his touch.

“Please…” I whined breathlessly. “Take me, use me, ruin me Joey…”

“I love pretty your voice is when you’re begging for me to fuck you.” He growls, sinking two fingers into my slick cunt. My moans permeate the car as I tangle my fingers in his hair while he slowly strokes my tight walls.

“Princess, how can you barely take my fingers when 15 minutes ago you were bouncing on my cock?” He laves the skin of my neck as my hips jerk up.

“And you still want more? You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” He gruffly chuckles.

“Yes! I want more… Please Joe…” I pull his head up and suck his lips into my mouth, letting him feel just how much I need him.

“Mmmm, such a good girl for me. So I’m gonna give my sweet fairy a choice.” He pecks my lips once more before leaning back up, his fingers still massaging my inner walls. “Tell my pretty girl, you want me to pick how I make you come, or do you want to?” He already knows the answer; the second I relinquished all control, I’d be weak for him.

His thumb rubs lightly on my clit, making me whine out. “You! Please Joe…”

“God, I love hearing you beg… Love when you sound so sweet, needy, whiney,” he chuckles, kissing down my breasts. “I can’t get enough of you, angel.” 

He flips up my skirt and groans, watching his drenched fingers pump in and out of me. “And you always get so goddamn wet for me. I wonder what you’d do if I just…” He smirks slowly, pulling his hand away.

“No no no no… Please please please…” I grab his wrist desperately, trying to pull it back. My core clenching around nothing, the pleasure being ripped away by the hollowness. “I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you, Joe.”

He faux pouts and kisses the tears streaking down my face. Fuck, I’m pathetic.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll take good care of you.” He smirks, then lifts my legs over his shoulders. “You think I’d let this pussy go unsatisfied? You must not know me then.” He mumbles to himself before using two fingers to spread my lips.

“I’ll never get used to how pretty this pussy is, but god, do I love ruining her.” Were his last words before absolutely devouring me.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

Another 20 minutes late, he dropped me off at my apartment and watched with a ridiculous smile as I slowly walked up two flights of stairs. Before walking down the hall to my door, something told me to check if he’d left yet. And, of course, he was still sitting in his giant truck, waving at me with my broken fairy wing.

To: American Deli💋

Asshole I can still see you! Stop it lol

Joey drive awayyyy

From: American Deli💋

I did you good huh?

Gonna be feeling me for a week!

But don’t worry, I’ll see you before that 😉

To: American Deli💋

LEAVE, i need to wash this shit out of me

From: American Deli💋

You better answer when i call you

To: American Deli💋

😋

From: American Deli💋

Want me to come up there 😏

To: American Deli💋

You already did like twice lol

From: American Deli💋

You know what I mean, this time I’ll put you to sleep

To: American Deli💋

Maybe some other time 

From: American Deli💋

Bet, I’m gone.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

I had to calm down my ridiculous giggles before entering the apartment. I did not want Amaya to see me and get the wrong idea. But upon opening the door, there was a very “shocking” picture: Amaya in her Silvermist costume grabbing her car keys.

“Um hi, where are you going?” She looked up at me with wide eyes, genuinely stunned by my presence.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” She chuckles hesitantly.

I tilt my head with a pout and limp over the kitchen bar stools. “I took a spill at the party and decided it was time for me to go. I didn’t want to leave early, but shit happens. I didn’t even see Joe or the girls, so I couldn’t give him your message. Now back to you, where are you going Ms. I’m So Busy, I’m Bailing On My Friends?” I question swiftly, taking the heat off of me.

She chews her lip, analyzing the bruises on my legs that were definitely caused by a chair and not her boyfriend’s hands or truck.

“I feel so fucking bad, maybe I should stay and help you.” She offers, but I shake my head.

“Amaya, what’s going on?”

“Don’t be mad, please.” She takes a deep breath and lays her head on the granite countertop. “Ryan saw you and Joe leaving the gym one night, and she’s been convinced that y'all have been sneaking around behind my back for weeks. Tonight, she overheard someone saying you were meeting up with him at the party, so I lied to you and said I wasn’t going so I could catch you with him. I’m so sorry, girl; I’m such a terrible teammate. I knew nothing was going on between you, I mean Justin talks about you all the time, and you always come back with hickies after hanging with him. I should’ve just stuck to my gut. Joe and Justin are literally friends and teammates like us, so it makes sense that you might’ve been seen out together. I feel horrible.” She sighs at the end of her rant.

I try not to appear incredibly shocked by the scenario she concocted, but it's insane. “Wow, me and Joe?”

“I know, I know. You don’t even like white guys, no less the ones I’m dating. And I know you hate talking about your sex life because of your fear of commitment and all that, but I think you and Justin are really cute.”

Did she just say-

“I don’t have a fear of commitment.” My face deadpans while she chuckles.

“Oh, my bad, I used my psychoanalysis skills on you. I know you don’t believe in labels. But he is a really good guy.” Huh, the good guy.

“I think I’m gonna go to the party now. I should apologize to Joe for ignoring him for the past few days. He was really irritable this week, and I can’t help but feel responsible.” 

“Have a few drinks for me, just kidding. But seriously, have fun, get laid.” I cringe as the words fall out my mouth, but thankfully her back was turned when I said it, so she didn’t see my face. 

“Hopefully he’s not too pissed, take it easy. You can use my new bath bomb.” She smiles and then leaves the apartment. I waited a couple of minutes before letting out a sigh of relief. If she hadn’t left any sooner, she would’ve picked up on the squirming I was doing behind the counter. That’s the last time I let him come inside me without being close to a bathroom. Because proximity is definitely the problem here.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

Joe walked into the frat house and immediately went to find his teammates. Thankfully, they weren’t far from the entrance and called him over. Justin and Ja'Marr also adorned green shirts and khakis, their valid attempt at portraying Clank and Bobble, the friends of Tinker Bell. Justin showed some effort and found glasses resembling Clank's in the Tinker Bell movies.

“Well, look who it is,” Ja’Marr smirked, looking over the quarterback for any evidence to incriminate him.

“Fuck off, I already checked. There’s nothing that you can see right now.” He said almost bashfully, then peeled the collar of his shirt to show them exactly where he was marked up. Justin just shook his head. 

“Yall are so stupid. Why don’t you just get together already? I can’t get bitches if everyone thinks I’m fucking the MVP of the women’s basketball team.” He scoffs.

“You don’t think I want that?” Joe rolls his eyes. “She’s set on making it big in the WNBA before settling for anyone, and I don’t blame her. Everyone knows she’s going to be in the first round, maybe even first pick. I just need you to lay low for now.”

“Lay low, how?” Ja’Marr asks for his fellow wide receiver.

“Amaya’s on her way to pick a fight with me, so I was never with Y/n. In fact, Jefferson saw her fall off a stool in the dining room and get banged up. She never saw me, and I got here a little after she left, got it?”

The two men look at him incredulously.

“That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“She’s not going for that shit.”

“She already did, Y/n caught her in a lie and made her fold. All we gotta do is let her feel the remorse, then it’s over.” Just as Joe finishes, Amaya walks in the door.

Justin’s brows furrow. “Wait what do you mean, then it’s over?” 

Joe puts on his best unbothered look as Amaya approaches him. “Hey baby.” She smiles.

“Hi.”

“Hi guys.” She waves to the wide receivers. “Um Justin, did you bring Y/n home? I know she said she fell off something, but I know there was more to that limp and her tiara was missing.” She chuckles.

Justin awkwardly smiles while a smirk grows on Ja’Marr’s face. “I knew y’all were being nasty upstairs, ain’t no way she was that clumsy.”

“You know me.” Joe’s spine goes rigid as Justin joins in the joke. “We like to get it in wherever we can.”

“Everything makes so much sense now, including why she came back early smelling like sex.” Amaya adds.

“Oh yea, she just wanted to go home after that. I offered to help her in, but you know she is, just crazy independent.”

Ja’Marr pats his friend on the back. “But the best part was when you gave your costume to Joe because he showed up without a costume.” He says smirking at the taller guy.

Joe grits his teeth and clenches his jaw. “You gave me the shirt you fucked her in to wear all night?” Playing along as best as he could.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it before.” Justin smirks.

Amaya butted in before they could keep going at each other. “Joe, can I talk to you?”

He shrugs and leads her away from the boys. “What’s up?”

“I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend lately, and I definitely haven't had the best judgment as of today-

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Amaya looks down and mumbles. “I thought you were cheating on me.”

“Wow, so you pretend to be single for a week, and I’m the one with the allegations.”

“I let my friends get in my head Joey, I know you would never do that to me.” Then he lets out a chuckle. “Joey, come on. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She pouts.

“Don’t worry about it, this thing between us was getting old anyway.”

“Joey! No I apologized, this is when we leave and go have great makeup sex.” She whined tugging on his shirt.

He pushes her hands off of him and grimaces. “Ooo, I don’t know if the sex has ever been good. But you can keep your apology, maybe if you hadn’t ghosted me for a week your friends wouldn’t have been right.”

Her eyes widen and lips part. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? What’s happening!”

“Maya, why are you so fucking slow? You really think you were the only one. Everything we did was shit- I’d leave your place and go straight to the gym.” He smirks with a wink.

“You cheated on me?”

“And now I’m breaking up with you.” He says as if it's nothing.

“Why would you do this to me?” Her eyes brim with tears.

“Why are you being so goddamn dense? You weren’t enough. Now go cry about it somewhere else.”

“How could you!”

He bites his lip to hide his grin, “players gonna play, and you’re not good at the game.” Then he started to walk off.

“WHO WAS IT?”

His mouth curls up, “I don’t kiss and tell.” Then he winks and shuts the door behind him.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

* 2 new unread messages *

I had just gotten into bed when my phone went off. After Amaya left, the rest of my night calmed down significantly. I had a luxurious bath, devoured a 10-piece wing, and read a book on the couch, which led me here—sitting in bed staring at the two texts on my lock screen. Amaya’s was first, and Joe’s text came seconds later, but both brought worrisome thoughts.

I decide to open Joe’s first.

From: American Deli💋

Thanks for making me go to that party. I had lots of fun😉

“Oh no.” He didn’t do what I think he did, right? There’s no way.

Then, opened my roommate's message.

 From: AmayaBaller

This night sucks, wanna watch Brotherly Love🥺

“Fuck he did. That motherfucker.”

To: American Deli💋

What the hell is wrong with you?

I told you NOT to break up with her dumbass!

From: American Deli💋

You snooze you lose.

How’s that limp btw 😏

To: American Deli💋

See you at playoffs asshole😒

From: American Deli💋

You’re not doing this again

Read

BABY

Read

Y/N COME ON

Delivered

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

Why does he have the be the biggest fucking player? Why do I like him? Wait- no. I don’t like him, he’s a good fuck. One I'm giving up for a few weeks, which will be missed. But I don’t feel anything too heavy for him. He’s a dick. It's as simple as that.

I didn’t have to respond to Amaya’s text because she decided at that moment to walk into my room and slump on my Queen Sized Bed.

“Hey, I saw your text. Wanna talk about it?” I ask as she begins to sob into my comforter.

“Why wasn’t I enough for him? It’s not my fault he was my first. He could’ve taught me stuff or told me to watch porn to get better!”

“Maya, he’s a man- an ungrateful, selfish, cocky, self-absorbed-” she picks her head up with both brows raised, but in a somewhat grateful way. “He’s a heartbreaker. A player.”

She scoffs and climbs into the spot next to you. “Tell me about it. He won’t even tell me who it was.” She says, laying her head on my shoulder. 

“I wish he loved me like Justin loves you.” Alarming sounds start going off.

“Let’s not talk about that right now. Didn’t you wanna watch a movie?” I remind her just as my phone starts uncontrollably buzzing. Great, I knew I should’ve blocked his ass.

“Not anymore; Justin’s probably here to take you to pound town again. He told me y'all hooked up tonight, not that I needed it confirmed after that limp and messy mascara.” She giggles, reaching for my phone. My eyes widen as she grabs it before I can get my arm from under her.

“Oh my god, he’s in your phone under American Deli!” Her giggles turn boisterous. “I’m glad there’s at least a kiss emoji next to his name. Did you really have to-” As she stops a questionable look develops on her face.

“What?”

“Jetta2Smooth, just texted you.” Looks like the whole crew plotting my downfall tonight. 

“If Justin is Jetta2, who is American Deli?” She puts the phone down and turns to me. I have to actively try not to lose eye contact with her while putting together a logical reason for the contact. 

“I told you he wasn’t my boyfriend.” I mumble, taking the phone. At least it’s true.

“You’re using him? But he’s the nicest guy on this campus, maybe in the city! What the hell Y/n.” She crosses her arms.

“Maya, come on. We’re in college, we’re about to have the best season of our lives. I don’t wanna be tied down-

“You don’t want to be committed!” Here she goes again with the damn commitment issues.

“Amaya. My dream is almost here! When he goes to NFL, what’s gonna happen? We date, then drafted to opposite sides of the country? I don’t want that. Even worse, what if he gets me pregnant.”

“Oh my god, long-distance relationships can work! Maybe have protected sex for once! These are all just excuses because you don’t want to face your problems head-on! You love him but are too scared to accept that fact.” 

“I don’t love Jo-ustin!” 

“I don’t believe you. Whoever American Deli is, I hope he knows he keeping you away from a great guy. Justin deserves better than a liar.” She gets off the bed then scoffs, “Oh my god, you’re just like Joe.”

I immediately shake my head, a gritty distasteful sap coating my mouth. “I’m nothing like him.” 

“Yeah, like you said, he’s a player too.” She slams the door behind her, leaving me with my thoughts. 

The only player I am is a basketball player, it’s why I’m at this school and why I know all these people. Joe plays with people’s feelings, I tell them what I want head-on. She’s just upset he did the same thing to her that he did every other bitch at this school. Except for- but we don’t feel that way about each other. We can’t.

There’s no way I’m in love with Joe Burrow. None.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: y'all heard her, absolutely no way. just like there's absolutely no way I'm making a part 2 of this fic 🤫 as always, like, reblog and comment your favorite line ♡

[itsmarsss]

The World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show [Rodrick Heffley x Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(~from the vault~)

Susan invites you to watch one of the Heffley's weird annual traditions, and you're expecting anything but this.

Word Count: 1,479

[...]

Dating Rodrick Heffley was… an experience. Not in a bad way at all, it was only that it could be… weird, for lack of a better word to describe it, at times. Like right now, for instance, when you were sitting in his living room while his parents told an extremely over-complicated story through… puppets.

You weren’t exactly sure how you'd gotten yourself into this situation. Okay, well, that was a lie, actually.

Susan had been incredibly persistent about you coming to the ‘World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show’, as she made sure to announce extravagantly, adamant about you being present to witness the oh-so-great performance, and, despite Rodrick´s ridiculous attempts at making faces at you from behind her that quietly told you to not, in any occasion, agree to it, you just couldn’t get yourself to say no.

“Why would you say yes? You could have just said your grandma just died or something!” Rodrick questioned you, exhasperated.

“Dude! Don’t say that about my grandma!”

“Okay sorry. But you could’ve said absolutely anything! Anything!"

“I tried! She kept finding solutions! She even said she’d move the date up.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah. Why?"

“Shit. She’s never moved the date before. She really wants you to go.”

“Why is that?"

“No idea. I think she just really likes you."

“Why do you sound so shocked about that?”

“She’s never really liked any of the girls I went out with.”

“Okay, James Dean. You’ve gone out with like one girl before me when you were like sixteen.”

“Hey I got laid! Occasionally.”

“Ew."

“It’s true!”

“Yeah right.”

“Fine. I got laid twice. Happy?"

You shrugged, grinning at him as you poked fun at him some more.

"Well now that you said yes to her I guess we’re gonna have to go.”

“It can’t be that bad!”

It could. It definitely, 100%, without a doubt, could. The ‘performance’ had been going on for about half an hour now, and it didn’t look like it was heading towards an end any time soon. You were all sitting in chairs, which were lined up in front of the couch, your seat between Rodrick's and Greg's, with Rowley by Greg’s left and Manny by Rodrick’s right.

Okay, yeah, maybe this time you should have listened to Rodrick.

You really, really tried, but you could not, as much as you desperately wanted to, figure out the plot of the story Mr. and Mrs. Heffley were trying to tell. It had something to do with dragons and fried chicken and at some point you could swear there was a clown. How any of that tied up together was beyond you, and, as you could see, Rodrick and Greg too.

The only ones who seemed to be having any fun at all were Manny, who was standing up and clapping like crazy throughout the entire thing, probably props to the very questionable voices his parents were making for the ridiculous amount of different characters that seemed to progressively look worse in appearance as they showed up, and Rowley, who also didn’t seem to understand any of it, but looked entertained nonetheless, occasionally even shooting Greg a few comments, to which Greg just smiled and mumbled something incoherent under his breath in response.

You leaned over to Rodrick, who was wide-eyed at this point, looking borderline terrified at the scene that unfolded in front of him. “You said it was bad, not that it was gonna give me nightmares!” You whispered.

He looked genuinely embarrassed, and for Rodrick Heffley to be embarrassed of something, oh that was something. “I tried to warn you!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Greg whispered too, making himself a part of the conversation.

“Shut up dickhead,” Rodrick let out under his breath, to which Greg replied by sticking his tongue out at him, earning a middle finger in response. Oh, brothely love.

“Do you guys really have to go through this every year?”

They both nodded. “It’s like it gets more terrifying every year,” Greg commented, and you took a quick glance back at the couch, where Mr. and Mrs. Heflley were crouched behind. Apparently a pig who was wearing a bow tie was hunting down a rabbit for sweets now.

“Do you guys think they’d notice if we left?” Greg asked and you pondered on it. Then you had an idea.

You turned to face your boyfriend. “Okay look. You gotta be fast alright? And you can't let your mom be upset at me."

“What?” Rodrick questioned you, finally managing to look away from the trance the puppet show had kept his eyes in.

“When I say I gotta go you say you’re coming with me.”

He nodded, though he hadn't really gotten the gist of where you were going with that.

“Wait can I come?”

“No,” Rodrick promptly replied.

“Come on give him a break," you nudged his arm, to which he rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. But only ‘cause she asked.”

Greg smiled, looking at you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Alright we gotta get out fast. Just grab Rowley with ya.”

Greg nodded in understandment.

“Hey Mrs. Heffley?” You spoke up.

The voices stopped. You were already grateful just for that moment of silence. Susan’s head appeared from behind the sofa. “Yes dear? Something wrong?”

“I'm really sorry, but um I really need to head home, I think.”

“Oh but we’re only halfway through-”

“I’ll take her home!” Rodrick exclaimed at lightspeed, yanking you by your wrist and sprinting towards the front door.

“We’ll come with!” Greg yelled too, doing the same with Rowley, leaving only Manny as an audience for the remainder of the story.

“But-”

“Bye! Thnak you for inviting me!” You yelled over, already out by the front yard.

“Uh- bye sweetie!”

You got to Rodrick’s van, which was parked on the street, all panting and out of breath from running so fast.

“Okay, get in demon spawn.” Rodrick unlocked the back door and waiting for the boys to enter.

“Hey!” You exclaimed in feighened offense.

“Not you. You’re a… sexy little demon...ess,” he smirked, knowing he’d get a laugh out of you.

You could hear Greg and Rowley say ‘ew’ from the back as you got in the car.

“I agrre with them, ew. I think I prefer demon spawn.”

Rodrick got in himself, turning the engine on. “Okay any ideas?”

“Can we go to Chipotle?” Rowley asked.

“No we should go to Taco Bell!” Greg yelled, and they immediately started arguing about it, talking over each other so loud you couldn’t understand a single word they were saying.

“Hey! Dickheads! Shut up!” Rodrick yelled, and, surprisingly, they did. “Y/n chooses.”

“What? Why?” Greg asked, offended.

“She has girlfriend privileges!”

You laughed at Greg’s angry expression. “Well I think we should go to Subway.”

“We’re not going to Subway." Rodrick deadpanned.

“What? You said I had girlfriend privileges!”

“Not if you choose fucking Subway!”

“Fine. Domino’s?”

“That's a decent option!” He smiled, and started driving.

You got yourselves a large pizza, Greg and Rowley quick to leave the table and go chase after each other around the place.

“You have grease on your chin,” you informed Rodrick when you looked at him. He wiped it off, his mouth full of food. He tried to say something, but quit as soon as he started, the sound muffled.

“Dude swallow the pizza first, that’s gross!”

He did so before trying again. “I said thank you.”

“It was looking all greasy and gross!"

"Oh shut up," he smiled at your teasing. "I meant for saying yes to my mom. She was actually like super excited about it.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together, confused. “Wait I thought you wanted me to say no.”

“Well yeah. But she clearly liked that you did go or whatever. She likes you.”

“That good?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. Maybe he won’t be so up our asses if she likes you.”

“Well you’re very welcome. Cause that was… something.”

He laughed. “You thought that was bad? You should see the Christmas one.”

There was no way. “They do a Christmas puppet show too?”

“Oh no it’s much worse. They actually act in it.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And you’re officially invited by me.”

“Oh no don’t bring me into this again-”

“Too late! I-” he took a sip of his soda- “will be telling my mom you had a wonderful time today, and you were so, so bummed you had to go home early!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“What's that I hear? You’d be thrilled to attend the Yearly Heffley Christmas Play?"

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

You smiled. You supposed you signed up for weirdness the moment you said yes to dating Rodrick Heflley of all people.

“I do, actually!”

He smiled at you. No, you don't.

[. . .]

A/N: heyy rewrote some thingies but its mostly the same as when i first wrote it. so here ya go with some more rodrick content! :)

[logicalistlee]

that one meeting with Jefferson

Congress: yapping and shit

Jefferson: takes a bite out of a fucking tomato

Congress:

Congress:

Congress: starts FRANTICALLY SCREAMING and trying to find antidotes for poison

Jefferson: Chewing smugly

aw man I've gotta draw this frfr 💔

[astralaffairs]

freedom of the press 09 | t. jefferson

words: 13.5k

warnings: sex

desc: the 2020 republican presidential frontrunner is an obnoxious, morally bankrupt people-pleaser, but what happens when you become the person he’s most eager to please?

tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @distinguishedpotsticker @fukaaaaaaaa @hereforthepsyche-assessment @ivetoldamillionlies @fangirl570 @thealaddinkid @lasciviouspeach @snazzydoesthings @shy-and-awkward-daveed @rachelhermionerose @soft-weeb-s @gryffinclxw @anamrnk @daveeddiggsit @ayayayayana @marinovakovich @cryinghazelnutt @thefandomgirl03 @a-hopeless-fan @cloudynblw @tinywhim @lolidunnoaboutnow @siriusorionblackiii @fanfic-addict-98 @nyxie75 @i-know-i-can @yxseminx @yavin4andor @sugacita @sstrawberry-fanta @youtxbemusic @queenwilty @someinsanefangirl @foudre-aqua @whatevs2000 @rwr-ites @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @toxicidity @malos-moving @luckyfriesss @lovecass123

THOMAS HAD WOKEN up feeling sick.

At first, he couldn't place the reason. He'd been drinking enough water and taking his multivitamins, he hadn't eaten anything bad (as far as he knew), and despite what Lafayette thought, he hadn't been drinking.

It was only when he pulled himself out of bed that the prior night’s events caught up with him, the information surfing on the fresh wave of nausea that rolled over him as he stood. When he glanced over at his mirror, the face staring back looked bedraggled and gaunt.

He powered his phone off immediately after checking the time when he was met with a screen full of texts from the last person he wanted to hear from; he dragged himself through his morning routine in a haze as his thoughts spiraled, inventing increasingly creative stories for how he’d ended up at that point. Who had given the interview? What else had she been lying about?

"I got a lot more attached to you than I meant to, alright?"

What finally broke him out of his stupor was a knock at the door at half past three P.M. He cupped a hand around his mouth to check his breath; he hadn’t had anything to eat but coffee, but he was grateful to have convinced himself to take a shower and brush his teeth.

When he opened the door, Thomas furrowed his brow. “Lafayette?”

“I ‘ave come with food and cigarettes.”

“I don’t smoke cigarettes.”

“Y/N told me what happened.” His discerning gaze made Thomas hold his tongue, wavering on his intention to tell Lafayette to kick rocks. “I did not think you would want to be alone, and I assumed zat you could use a cigarette.”

When Lafayette raised his eyebrows expectantly, Thomas sighed.

“Alright, c’mon in. Can't have you stay long, though; ‘m busy getting ready for my rally tomorrow.” He stepped aside to let Lafayette by, and he started toward the kitchen as Thomas locked the door behind him.

“I am sorry to hear what happened.”

“What exactly did she tell you?”

“Zat she hurt you,” Lafayette said simply, and Thomas’s eyebrows shot up. “She told me that her editor has ze article about your past and that she told you about it. I hear you did not take it well.”

“Oh, gimme a goddamn break,” Thomas snapped. “How the hell am I supposed to take the news that the person I’m seein’ has been planning to tell the whole world I was an alcoholic?”

“Poorly. There is no other way to take it.” He put the bag he carried on Thomas’s counter and started withdrawing styrofoam boxes. “Why do you think I am here? I am on your side. And I ordered southern American food. I did not know much about it, so I ordered one of everything.”

“One of everything?” Thomas repeated curiously, reaching for a box, and Lafayette nodded. Thomas’s eyes widened when he opened it. “That’s a lotta macaroni ‘n cheese.”

“I also have fried chicken, grilled asparagus, waffles, shrimp and grubs—”

“Shrimp ‘n grits?”

“—Collard greens, cornbread, and something called a ‘hushed puppy.’”

“You didn’t need to come here ‘n do all that, Laf.” Thomas’s demeanor had softened considerably as Lafayette had withdrawn his many containers of food, laying them out on the counter. “‘S awful sweet, but I’m doin’ fine. I’m pissed, but I’ve handled a whole lotta abuse from the press already this campaign cycle.”

“Not like this, and not from her." At Lafayette's knowing look, Thomas appeared perturbed. "You may lie to yourself all you want, but you cannot lie to me about zis. I see it. I see ze two of you together, and I cannot imagine zis being anything like what you have experienced with ze media before.”

Thomas hesitated, not meeting his eyes, but as he stared down at the boxes of greasy takeout, his gaze was unfocused.

“Yeah,” Thomas finally said, pulling open a drawer to withdraw two forks. “I didn’t expect this from her. Thought she had more integrity than that.”

“Try, just for a moment, to understand ze dilemma she faces.”

His skeptical gaze shot to Lafayette. “Thought you said you didn’t come here to defend her.”

“I did not, but I do not know zat zis is a question of her integrity,” Lafayette reasoned. “Someone is out there giving interviews with ze press about your past with alcohol addiction. If she does not write zis article, someone else will.”

“She shoulda come directly to me about it, then. I coulda got out in front of it.”

“You still can, and you still should,” he said, “but her job is to write about you. She hasn’t betrayed anything you’ve shared with her in confidence, she simply interviewed someone with much to say about your past.”

“Yeah, till the article comes out and it’s everything I told her about Martha,” Thomas said cynically.

“The article does not mention Martha. It makes no reference to any past lover or to your engagement.”

“I can’t take her at her word on that anymore,” Thomas said incredulously. “Be serious, she’s gonna do whatever she wants with what she knows.”

“I can assure you, it does not even offer an implication. I ‘ave read it, Thomas.”

“You’ve read it?” His voice was stunned, and he froze as he was opening a container of food. “How long have you known about this?”

“Not much longer than you. After she wrote it, she came to me for guidance.”

“And you didn’t tell her to shut it down?”

“I advised against her publishing it, but she is not ze editor of ze Post. I am not sure how long zat remains in her power for. So I told her to talk to you.”

“Yeah, ‘n look where that got us,” Thomas grumbled, and Lafayette sighed.

“Would you not rather know?”

“I’d rather you told me the goddamn minute you found out about it,” he snapped. “God, I’ve known you for years; where the hell’s your loyalty? A pretty girl walks into the scene and all of a sudden I take a back seat?”

"You know zat is not what zis is," Lafayette shot back. “Oui, she is my friend, but I refrained from coming to you about this because I know zat she cares about you. And you care about her, so you should understand why I wanted to give her ze chance to make things right."

"Oh, please. Don't come here telling me she cares and didn't mean to hurt me." His voice was sharp and dismissive. "She knows what this article's about. She knows what she's doing."

“She is under pressure you do not understand.”

“I think I understand just fine. She’s got priorities; she’s got a career, ‘n that comes before me. Shoulda realized how far that went, but I didn’t. I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“She does not have security in the way that you do, Thomas,” Lafayette reminded him. “She works two jobs and still has problems with paying her bills. She cannot afford to lose zis job.”

“She's got plenty of people she could stay with while she found another.”

“So you think zat you should be more important zan her income?” he challenged. Thomas didn't respond, only frowned. “She should be quitting her job to delay her source finding a journalist willing to publish zis story?”

“I don't mean it like that.” His frustrated voice had grown quieter. “She shoulda never let it get this far, though. She could've lied to her editor about the interview ‘n never written the article.”

“Her manager knew she was interviewing someone. What would she have written about after?”

“I don't know, alright?” His words came as an outburst, and they were followed by a huff. He continued, voice softer, “I don't know what she shoulda done. All I know is this wasn't the right answer. Y'know what she told me? Said she cared too much about me to know how to write about me, and that she got too close. But none of that stopped her from writing this, so I dunno what to believe anymore. Nobody who cared would try ‘n air this out.”

“The way she writes about it is not flippant.” Lafayette's gentle tone matched Thomas’. “She writes about you as someone who ‘as succeeded in the face of struggle, not as someone who chose a life of vices.”

“I don't wanna hear it anymore, Laf. You oughta leave if you're just here to defend her. We both know that, no matter what you say about it, telling voters a presidential candidate was an alcoholic is a nail in the coffin.”

“For whatever it is worth, I see you as someone who ‘as overcome great animosity against all odds,” Lafayette offered. Thomas shot him a sidelong glance as he closed the container of macaroni and cheese. “Truly. You have everything to be proud of. Regardless of how people may react to zis, do not forget all zat you have done to become who you are today.”

“Thanks,” Thomas said weakly. “I can only hope the voters are gonna see it that way.”

“If you do not win this election, you will still forever be who you are.” Lafayette's words made Thomas purse his lips as he reached for the small plastic container of gravy sitting atop the tin of mashed potatoes. “Remember that your whole life has not been leading up to this moment; it will continue on after it regardless of the outcome.”

A long silence passed as Thomas stared down at the gravy, visible through the barely-opaque white plastic. A dent was forming in the styrofoam container he'd placed it onto as he held it in his tense hand. The styrofoam tore, and he snapped back to the kitchen.

“I know,” he finally said. “But I do appreciate the reminder.”

“I trust that you will keep yourself reasonable throughout this election cycle. You are a smart man.”

“And if I don't, that's what I've got you for.” The smile he gave Lafayette was weak but wholehearted. “Now, we've got a whole lotta food here. You gonna hang around and help me eat it all?”

“I thought you said you needed to prepare for your rally tomorrow,” Lafayette said hesitantly, and Thomas shrugged.

“I think I could use the distraction. ‘N they just put Jurassic Park on Netflix.”

“I am glad to hear it. I cleared my calendar before I came over; I would hate for it to ‘ave been for nothing.”

Thomas' laugh was surprisingly earnest. “Would it be too on-the-nose to break out the bourbon for the occasion?”

“As someone who has written no articles about you lately, I cannot imagine why it would be.”

—---------

GIVEN WHAT SHE had told him, Thomas couldn't break his pace campaigning. He went through with his rally the next day and appeared at a nonprofit-sponsored event the day after as the keynote speaker. He shook hands and took selfies, kissed babies and signed foreheads. He politely declined one woman's request to sign her breasts as a stencil for her next tattoo.

He was playing his role as a media darling the way he always had, blithely and jovially, and his numbers were up in the polls. (James was telling him so, at least; he'd stopped checking for fear of seeing how far they might drop.) Part of that, however, was keeping the Washington Post far from his events. Regardless of who at the Post filed for press admittance, they weren't coming, and he was making sure of that himself. Besides, he had enough coverage.

He was waiting quite patiently for the other shoe to drop as he buttressed his image, though, checking Twitter between podcast interviews and university appearances. He'd become quite sly about sneaking glances at his phone as it poked just a degree out of his pocket, but all he ever saw were texts he had no intention of answering and DMs on Twitter that conferred Y/N's assumption that he'd blocked her number. James had caught on, however, to how preoccupied Thomas was. He would trail off in the middle of a sentence when he noticed his averted gaze, and he watched his eyes glaze over when interviewers made small talk before his appearances, and Thomas caught his skeptical gaze on many occasions. Thomas averted his eyes quickly when he did so.

Nothing damning ever crossed the headlines, and Thomas, too, began to realize he was operating on borrowed time. He wasn't sure how much time he'd borrowed, and he wasn't sure how much he'd have to give back. Neither realization was a relief. It only built his anticipation for the weeks that followed, and he grew more scattered and more concerned about what was to come until—

“Thomas.”

His head snapped up at the stern sound of James’ voice. It was a tone usually reserved for Charles Lee and his father, and Thomas had a hunch as to why he was hearing it just then.

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He was in his office at the space they were leasing for their campaign headquarters, a dingy old building that may have been considered glamorous in the early ‘70s, but its interior had never been renovated, so it now simply looked dated. James took a seat across from him.

“Where the hell has your head been at for the past couple weeks?”

“What do you mean?” He answered a little too quickly, and James narrowed his eyes.

“You're always on your phone. Even when you're making appearances in public, you're not entirely there, and in meetings, you definitely aren't. Something is obviously up.”

Thomas narrowed his eyes. “What're you accusing me of?”

James looked taken aback. “Nothing. I'm asking: I can tell something happened, but what? I want to know if you're okay.”

“You wanna know if I'm okay?”

“Yes. Of course I do,” he said, frowning, and Thomas’ creased brow softened a degree. “We've been friends for years. I'm worried about you, not upset.”

“Right, yeah. ‘Course.” Thomas dragged a hand through his curls as he took a deep breath, not meeting James’ gaze. “Sorry. ‘M just stressed.”

“I can tell.”

“I learned somethin’ last week that's bad for us. Bad for me, really, but it's a problem for our campaign if it pans out, y’know?” His words were agitated and scattered, and when he finally looked James in the eye, he sighed. “A friend in the press told me there's somebody out there giving interviews about my history as an alcoholic. Sounds like they claim to know more than they really do, but at any point now, that information might come out.”

“I see.” James’ lips were pursed. “Would that friend happen to be Y/N L/N?”

Thomas frowned. “Yeah. Why?”

He hesitated, looking down as he collected his thoughts. Slowly, he said, “You two seem quite close in a way that concerns me. Is there anything I should know about that?”

Thomas’ stomach had curdled. “Nah, I mean… Dunno what you mean, really. She's just a professional contact.”

“And the dynamic between you two at work events? Your choice to rent out the restaurant she works at for a rally?”

“Hey, I've been goin’ to that restaurant for a whole lot longer than she's been workin’ there.”

“That's beside the point.”

“I dunno if it is.”

“Thomas. Be straight with me.” James eyed his stiff shoulders and the way he sat rigidly upright in his chair; his stance was unnatural. “You're communicating with her outside of professional channels, and you aren't taking the things you learn straight back to us. Frankly, it's unprofessional of you.”

Thomas eyed him with a knit brow, trying to keep his surprise peripheral. “I… Yeah, sorry. Shoulda communicated better.”

“And why didn't you? Something about Y/N L/N seems to cloud your judgment, and I'm not sure where that's coming from.”

He'd have to remind himself to thank Dolley for her discretion. “Dunno what to tell you. We haven't really been communicating, it's just this, ‘n I've been distracted cause I don't know what to do about the interview somebody's been givin’ about me. You don't have to worry, either; we're not friends, ‘n she's not gonna be around in the future.”

James furrowed his brow. “What does that mean?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but it took him a moment to collect the words, “Just haven't seen her at our events. Her assignment must've changed.”

“...Right.”

As they looked across Thomas’ desk at one another, neither had the heart to note all the media inquiries he'd declined from the Post in the preceding weeks.

—--

Y/N WASN'T HAVING the time of her life either. In the weeks that followed, every media request she submitted was painstaking, wrenched from her hands by her manager and laced with shame and anxiety. She was having increasing trouble justifying why finding a reliable source for her article was giving her so much trouble, but her countless declined media requests had been giving her an easier out.

The closest she came to him for several weeks was his open speaking events—rallies, cocktail hours, fundraisers and the like—despite her numerous texts and calls. She even managed to get James’ and Lafayette's ears on a couple different occasions, but the only person who gave her the time of day was Dolley. Even then, in contrast to James’ and Lafayette's dismissal, all she received was passive pity. She'd asked her how she'd liked the Pacific Northwest — that was where Thomas’s campaign had led them most recently.

“Oh, you know. Lots of rain.” Dolley’s words were accompanied with a sad smile. “I'm glad to be back on the east coast, I suppose.”

“Would you really consider DC to be the east coast?”

She only shrugged. “Maybe not. But all the same, it's good to be home.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Sorry campaigning hasn't been all it's cracked up to be.”

“No, no, it's been fine. Don't worry about me, dear. How… how have you been, though?”

Y/N's hopeful expression froze, and although Dolly's was unchanged, she couldn't help but feel that something had shifted. She swallowed as she regained her warm smile.

“I've been good, Doll. Working lots of hours, but nothing too terrible.”

“Good, good. I haven't seen you at too many campaign events recently, you know.”

“Right, well. Traveling that far would just be a bit of an ordeal.”

“Of course.” Dolley touched Y/N's arm as she glanced over her shoulder. “I really can't linger, but it is good to see you. I hope you've been taking care of yourself through everything.”

“Through everything?”

Again, Dolley shrugged. “All the hours you've been working. I imagine it doesn't allow much time for you to rest.”

“Right, yeah, no, for sure.” Y/N shook her head quickly, offering a light laugh. “For sure. I've been fine.”

“Right.” Her smile was tight. “I do hope I'll see you around.”

Y/N was doing her best not to read into Dolley's words, but they occasionally floated to the forefront of her mind on her commute to work and in the shower. She couldn't help but dwell on the hesitant way she asked how she'd been as she sat at her computer redrafting articles. She couldn't gauge the sincerity in her voice when she said she'd hoped to see her around.

She found Lafayette no more than a week later, and it appeared he'd already been cornered by none other than Ben Arnold. She wasn't sure when the two had been acquainted, but Lafayette was looking rather weary as Ben grew ever-closer to him with his notepad.

While she was trying to decide whether to approach the pair, Ben noticed her over Lafayette's shoulder.

“Y/N!” He flagged her down with a hand, and Lafayette turned sharply in the direction he was facing. Both she and he were tense as she approached. “You know Lafayette, don't you? I can't place it, but I'm sure I've seen you both talking together before.”

“Right. Yeah, we know each other.” Her smile was tight, but Ben didn't seem to pick up on it. “What's going on over here?”

“We're talking about Adams’ speech from the other day. I wanna root for the guy, but God, he sure fumbled that.” He shook his head in disdain. “He has me starting to think he might just be too old to be the candidate.”

“Yeah, well. No candidate is perfect.”

“You're one to talk, with the way you've been tearing into Jefferson. You're doing great work, though, don't get me wrong. And don't let me dissuade you.” When Ben nudged her playfully, she pursed her lips.

“Thanks.”

“How's your day going, though? Have you gotten any content out of this rally?” The concern in his brow was aimless, and when Y/N shrugged, he frowned. He followed her gaze as she snuck glances at Lafayette.

“It's been fine. I, um, I should get going, though. It looks like you two were in the middle of an interview, and I really don't want to take your time. I have some work to get done this afternoon.”

“Will your article finally be hitting the front pages?” Y/N inhaled sharply when Lafayette spoke, and his polite tone was in contrast with his stern, knit brow.

“Not today.” She spoke softly, and when she looked him in the eye, she was almost afraid to look away. “There have been some complications.”

“Of what sort?”

“That’s somewhat confidential, I’m afraid.”

“I’m sure it is.” He hesitated. She didn’t move. “Is everything alright?”

“Is everything alright?” she repeated incredulously, and he shrugged.

“I am only wondering.”

“I’m fine.” She answered the question he didn’t ask.

“Glad to hear it.” Ben nudged her with a lopsided smile, and the one she put on to match was stiff. “Looking forward to your article, then.”

She and Lafayette shared a look.

————

PER NOBODY’S WISHES, she thought dryly as she read her email, they’d be seeing her again soon. Thomas was holding a speaking event at the university she'd attended, and it was being moderated by a professor she'd had as an undergrad. Although Thomas’ campaign may have blacklisted her, her persistent participation in journalism seminars appeared to be paying off well into her career. There was, of course, a media junket in the hours that preceded the speech, and she was, of course, always welcome back at her alma mater. When she was younger, people would tell her time and time again that her GPA barely mattered if she wasn’t looking to attend graduate school, but there it was, pulling strings she figured had long since frayed.

She arrived early. She’d barely slept the night before, so she figured it wasn’t ultimately worth waiting the extra hours before leaving the house, and she showered before the sun was even up. She stopped by her old professor’s office to thank him along with an extra cold brew and her thoughts on his recent book. She lingered in the bookstore afterwards, eyeing the merchandise they’d updated since she attended. She walked by her old dorm building. She made uneasy eye contact with the security guards placed every five feet.

Vans with tinted windows went in and out of gated driveways, and she wondered which of them had reason to appear so incognito. Although she hadn’t the slightest clue, she didn’t allow her stare to linger on any of them for too long.

She checked in for her time slot four hours early.

—-------

THOMAS HAD MIXED feelings about university speaking engagements. Young people barely voted, and many of them had obviously come only to network regardless, trailing behind him with questions about his campaign staff and his cabinet. Nevertheless, the optics of caring about the next generation were helpful if not essential, so there he was in a van being driven through closed-off streets toward a university convention center.

He shook hands and learned names he had little intention of remembering for multiple hours before the event even started, and he was led by his security detail down a long hallway for the press junket that he should have anticipated.

He asked for a cup of coffee before they started, chatting idly with one of his bodyguards in the hallway outside, and then he asked for another. He arrived at the first interview thirty-eight minutes late.

He cut each interview short. They were with outlets he’d spoken to time and time again: CNN, Fox, the Associated Press, the Guardian. The questions they asked were routine.

Eight interviews took him less than an hour, ultimately, but he was informed that he’d be giving sixteen that day (it would’ve been fifteen, but the university newspaper snuck in a reservation).

After each, he took a breath, fixed his tie, and opened the next door to meet the interviewer he’d be speaking to next.

Nine was from NBC.

Ten was the Times — he shuddered when he saw Ben Arnold, but he couldn’t place where he’d seen his face before.

Eleven was the LA Times.

Twelve was NPR.

He walked out on autopilot toward the next room after shaking his interviewer’s hand and wishing her well. His eyes were glazed over as he opened the door to room thirteen.

He fixed his shirt cuffs as he walked in. “Mornin’, how’s your day—?” He stopped short when she lifted her head, eyes as wide as his. “Who the hell let you in?”

“Please, just give me five minutes.”

He looked over his shoulder to his security personnel. “Gimme the room.”

“Sir, we’re under instructions not to leave your side.”

“Instructions from who? You work for me.”

“I understand that, but our manager—”

“Wait outside. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure, Secretary Jefferson?”

He nodded before turning back toward Y/N. “I only need five minutes, hm?”

“Yes. Please.” He sat across from her as the security detail filed out into the hallway, and her hand was shaking atop her notebook when he met her eyes.

“What part of ‘stay away from me’ was unclear?” he spat.

“It’s my job; I couldn’t stop trying to get to your events.”

“And what did you think would happen when you did?” She was silent. “How the hell did you get in, anyway? My staff knows that you—”

“I went here. For college. I used to work for the professor interviewing you later, and he reached out to me, not the other way around.”

“Management and I are gonna be havin’ a serious talk about his role in organizing this event, then.”

“Hey, come on, it’s not his fault,” she protested. “You can’t ruin his credibility just for this, it’s not—”

“It’s not what?” he snapped. “It’s not fair? It’s not right? All of a sudden, you’re worried about protecting somebody’s reputation?”

“Come on, you know what I’m saying. He did nothing wrong.”

“And I did then?” He raised his eyebrows, folding his arms. She sighed, shoulders dropping. “‘S that what you’re saying? Is that all you meant? He doesn’t deserve that, but I do?”

“No, of course you don’t. Please stop making this something it isn’t.”

“What is it then? Hm? If it’s not you playing favorites? You’re allowed to drag my name in the streets, but I can’t do it to somebody you care about?”

“Thomas, I do care about you; just listen to me.”

“What is there left to say?” His tone was sharp, and he didn’t go on, just watching her expectantly. The only sound was the hum of the AV equipment switched on in the corner. She hadn’t set any of it up.

“I just want you to understand that this is my job.” She spoke softly. “I didn’t know this was what I was signing up for, but I did, and it’s too late for me to back out.”

“You didn’t do this by accident. I don’t care what your assignment was; you sat down and spent hours writing down the worst things you could find about me.”

“I had to. My editor—”

“You had to? There was no other way out?”

“Yeah, maybe unemployment,” she bit back. “I need my job, Thomas. I have to work.”

“You’re a big name in media now. Don’t act like you have no sway.” He looked her up and down. “You made your choice. Now live with it.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” she urged. “Someone was going to come out with this eventually. If I didn’t write it, I would’ve been scooped.”

“You always have a choice.” When he stood, he was looking down his nose at her. “Hope it was worth spending your day here just to make mine worse. I’ll be more careful about the press at my events goin’ forward.”

He started toward the door, and her hurried footsteps behind him didn’t give him pause.

“Wait, please, I—” Her fingers were soft on his forearm, and he jerked it away, turning to face her.

“Don’t you dare touch me. You hear me?” His tone was harsh, and she pulled her hand back, balling her fingers lamely in front of her. “I don’t know where you find the goddamn nerve.”

When he left, he slammed the door behind him.

——————

SHE WAS DREADING the office on Monday. The speaking event had been local, so she couldn’t skate by on travel complications for another day working remotely. She slipped into the office early so her editor wouldn’t see her come in, and when eleven AM came and went undisturbed, she found herself ticking off the minutes before she could slink away while Ashley was out on lunch.

At 11:38 AM, there was a knock at her office door.

“Coming.” Her voice was soft.

She opened the door. The usual culprit.

“Ashley,” she said, honey-sweet, “Morning. Happy Monday.”

“Good morning, Y/N.” Her smile was tight. “What do you suppose there is to be happy about today?”

“Well, the weather is beautiful, my apartment’s heating was fixed, my friends are—”

“That was rhetorical.” Ashley breezed past her into her office, and Y/N sighed. “Where the hell is my article? I know you went to the Georgetown event last weekend, and you have yet to even send me notes from it.”

“He wouldn’t speak to me.” She turned, closing the door behind her.

“And why not?”

“Oh, I don’t know, because all my writing treats him terribly?” Y/N asked. “This is your own fault. Being upset with me for not being able to get his ear when you told me to drag his name through the mud is insane.”

“I don’t need a new interview with him. I need you to finish the draft you sent me weeks ago. If you don’t, I’m giving it to another staff writer to finish.”

“You’re bluffing. It’s my intellectual property; you don’t own that article until it’s published,” Y/N said. “If you could assign it to someone else, you would’ve by now.”

“And if someone had sent me your interview tape, I could’ve had it in the paper immediately,” Ashley seethed. “Why are you holding out on me, L/N? You got this assignment because your supervisors before me believed in you. This doesn’t just reflect on you; it reflects on them now, too.”

“Yeah, and they weren’t breathing down my neck trying to push their own agendas on my writing.”

“What did you just say to me?”

Y/N paused, sucking her teeth. Ashley raised her eyebrows.

“I think Adams lied,” Y/N finally said.

“And why do you think that?”

“He has an agenda. No one will even corroborate his story.”

“He worked with Jefferson, and the facts line up.”

“How would you know if the story lines up?” Y/N asked incredulously. “You weren’t on Washington’s staff with them.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if you don’t have a secondary source, and I don’t care if you don’t believe him,” Ashley insisted, “because you haven’t published in weeks, and this is front-page news. You never sit on a story like this.”

“Don’t you care about our integrity? This affects our reputation as a paper, too.”

“If it turns out to be false, we’ll print a retraction.”

“I don’t want my name attached to a slanderous article,” Y/N said. “We could get sued. I could get sued.”

“We have the best lawyers in the game, L/N. What you need to do is grow a pair.”

“Jesus Christ, don’t talk to me like that.” Y/N’s nose was crinkled as she eyed Ashley. “However good you think our lawyers are, you underestimate Jefferson’s.”

“I’ve been in journalism a long time. I know what we can get away with.”

“What if I don’t want to just be ‘getting away with’ things?” Y/N asked. “I came here to report the truth.”

“From what we know, this is the truth.”

“But we don’t know that.” Y/N’s firm gaze met Ashley’s narrowed eyes. “I’m not finishing the article.”

“You work for me.”

“If you press this, I’ll walk away,” Y/N warned. “You need me here this late in the game.”

“You need me a whole lot more,” Ashley said. “If you don’t get me my finished article by Friday, you’re fired.”

“Then I quit.”

Ashley’s narrowed eyes softened. “You don’t mean that.”

“I’ll pack my office. Effective immediately.” Y/N’s expression was unchanging. Ashley drew back, folding her arms.

“Fine. You have thirty minutes. After that, security will see you out.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

—————

SHE HADN’T PLANNED for that. When she went home, she was all but convinced it had been a fever dream. Was she sick? She took her temperature—98.5° F. She checked her email. It had already been disabled. Her Google Drive was gone, which meant her draft was gone, which meant her career was over.

She hadn’t given two weeks notice, and she had burned a bridge. Ashley wouldn’t be listed as a reference on her future job applications. She hadn’t published in weeks, and she had lost all her contacts on the Jefferson campaign. Who would hire her?

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot despite her nine hours of sleep. She needed to go to sleep.

Laying down didn’t help. Maybe Tums would do something, but the sinking feeling in her stomach wasn’t nausea. She figured an antacid couldn’t hurt. Maybe she was stopped up. Maybe she just needed a laxative. Maybe she needed antipsychotics. Had she gone mad?

She didn’t check her phone for three hours. She could only stare at the ceiling. She had no dental insurance, so she would need to postpone her appointment. She had no health insurance, either, so she was rather lucky that flu season was over. Her car repairs would have to wait, but the Metro reached her part of town. She didn’t have to travel for work anymore, anyway.

She had opted in on a financial nightmare. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that she even remembered why.

It was with trembling fingers that she called Lafayette. He didn’t answer, and she couldn’t blame him. She sent him a text. Quit my job. Not sure what to do. Call me back.

She couldn’t call Alex, and she couldn’t call Angelica, and she didn’t have Dolley’s number. None of her closest friends would understand the decision she’d made.

She went downstairs, and Mira was in the kitchen idly doing the dishes. The lunch rush had passed, and the dinner one hadn’t started.

“Hey, Mira,” she said softly. “Do you have a minute?”

“Dishes have to get done, mija, are you going to help me?” Her tone was all business, and it almost made Y/N smile. She had her own concerns.

“Yeah, I can. Lemme load the dishes.” And so as Mira scraped and rinsed each plate, Y/N put them one by one into the dishwasher. She fell into a rhythm so passively that it caught her off guard when Mira spoke.

“You wanted to talk about something with me?” she asked, and Y/N went still.

“Yeah,” she said, “I did.”

“I am listening.”

“I quit my other job.”

Mira turned the water off. Her brows were knit when she faced Y/N. “You quit?”

“I did.”

“You worked hard for that promotion. What happened? You were famous.”

“My editor wanted me to publish some things I didn’t quite believe in,” Y/N said quietly, and Mira nodded, turning back to the sink. She turned the water on and reached for another glass.

“Ya veo. About Thomas?”

Y/N paused. “What makes you say that?”

Mira only shot her a sidelong glance, raising one skeptical eyebrow. Y/N shrugged, and Mira turned back to the sink, shaking her head. “What did they want you to say about him?”

“I…” It occurred to her that Mira hadn’t answered her question. “Things I don’t want to repeat. I don’t want to spread rumors.”

“Are they true?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then I will not repeat what you tell me,” Mira said. “Tell me.”

“There are claims he was an alcoholic,” Y/N said, and Mira pursed her lips, nodding.

“Is that just a rumor?”

“Only one person has claimed it. They say it was years ago.”

“He does not seem to me to be an alcoholic.”

“Me neither,” Y/N said. “If it’s true, he’s clearly recovered. With how much energy he has, I’d sooner believe that he does cocaine.”

Mira laughed softly at that. “He is always moving, no?”

“You’re telling me.”

Mira turned off the water as she handed Y/N the final dish. “So when did you quit?”

“This morning.”

Her eyebrows jumped. “Today?”

Y/N nodded. “I didn’t even give any notice. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You were being brave,” Mira replied. “You did what you believed.”

“And now I’m paying the price.”

“What price?” Mira asked. “You left a job that you hated. You… what is it… seguiste a tu corazón.”

“Followed my heart?” Y/N repeated, and Mira nodded.

“Thomas means something to you,” —Y/N opened her mouth to protest, and Mira only raised a hand to stop her— “He is in your life, at least. He is your friend. You did what he needed.”

“I know. God, I hope so. I was just trying to do the right thing, and now I feel like I’ve blown up my life.”

“What is blown up? You have a roof over your head. You have food on your table. Also you have this job.”

“It’s not enough for me to be able to pay you rent money,” Y/N admitted. “Not with my student loan payments. I understand if I can’t stay, but when I find a new job, I can get you all the money later, and if you want interest, it’s—”

“It is not my worry,” Mira said. “We have enough money. We do not need yours. We will not remove you from your home.”

“Thank you, but I’ll pay you when I have the money. I’m sorry.”

“Do not be sorry. Be proud that you have done what you believe.” Mira took Y/N’s damp hand in her own, dishwater running down in beads from her elbow. “I am proud of you. It is allowed to feel that for yourself, too.”

—————

SHE THEN CALLED Thomas. He didn’t pick up, and she wasn’t expecting him to. He hadn’t read any of her texts in weeks, so she didn’t bother sending them anymore, but they were still marked as delivered. Lafayette didn’t call her back, but he texted— I am happy for you.

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Can you call?

He texted back immediately. Later. I am working.

Are we okay? It took her a long moment of staring to press “send.”

We will need to have a longer conversation, he sent. Her stomach turned. Then— But yes.

She called Thomas again.

That was her routine for the rest of the evening. She applied for a job at CNN, she called Thomas. She made herself dinner, she called Thomas. She took out the trash, she called Thomas. She applied for five more jobs, she called Thomas. She took a break to read through the texts she’d sent him, and she called Thomas.

She texted Lafayette again. Can you tell Thomas to call me?

I can try, was his reply. Should I tell him you quit?

I’d like to tell him myself, she sent.

Then it will be difficult.

By eight PM, he had 47 missed calls from her. It was more than she’d tried in the weeks since he had cut her off, but she supposed he would have chalked it up to the fight they’d had over the weekend. Every time the phone went to voicemail, she heard his disgusted voice ringing in her ears— I don’t know where you find the nerve.

Frankly, she wasn’t sure, either.

At 9:47, she had just finished another job application, and it was time to call Thomas again. She was sitting on her couch, and she put the phone on speaker beside her as she reached for her glass of wine. She closed tabs on her laptop as she listened to the first four rings, and she pulled up another application as the fifth went by.

The sixth ring never came, and the phone didn’t go to voicemail. There was faint static coming from her phone’s speaker. She froze.

Tentatively, she spoke. “Thomas?”

A beat passed. Finally, “I only picked up as a favor to Lafayette. You can tell him I did my piece.”

“Wait, no, don’t hang up,” she said frantically. “Please. Are you still there?”

“I’m done wastin’ time here. I’ve given you a whole lotta chances. Goodnight.”

“I quit my job.” Her words were rushed. Silence followed, but no dial tone.

“You what?”

“I quit my job,” she repeated. “The article’s scrapped.”

“Y’know, it’s not so easy to trust right now that you’re tellin’ me the whole truth.”

“I know,” Y/N said softly, putting down her wine glass. She picked up the phone and took it off of speaker. “But that's it.”

“You’re not goin’ back?”

“Never.”

“And that article’s never gonna see the light?”

“It would be illegal for them to publish without me on staff. They don’t even have the interview tape.”

There was a long pause. “Why’d you do it?”

“Are you serious?” she asked, huffing out a disbelieving laugh.

“I wanna hear you say it.”

“Because I couldn’t publish that article. I’m sorry I ever even wrote it. My editor has been hounding me for weeks to get it finished so that they could publish, and I delayed it and delayed it, but it came down to publishing or leaving. So I finally left.”

“‘Cause I yelled at you in a conference room at your old college?”

“Because you were right when you did,” she said. “No one who cared about you would publish that article.”

“What about all those bills you have to pay?” The question was steeped in disdain.

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted, and her voice was shaky when she explained, “I’m applying for jobs, but I’ll take on more hours at the diner, and I can delay some of my payments. And Mira and Orlando are my landlords, so they won’t evict me, so I won’t need to couch surf. I’ll take on a little bit of debt. I’ll figure it out.”

He hesitated a moment. “Sorry for askin’. You don’t owe me all that information.”

“Right now I owe you any explanation you want.”

He sighed. “Y/N.”

“I’m serious. I’m so sorry, Thomas. This whole ordeal is finally over. You never have to think about this again.”

“Well, if somebody’s giving interviews about it, I’m sure I’m gonna have to worry about it soon enough.”

“...Right.”

“But that’s not your fault. I shouldn’t put that on you. ‘M sorry.”

“You don’t owe me any apologies,” she said softly. “I’m glad you picked up.”

“Yeah.” A beat. “I am too.”

Nearly a minute passed and neither of them spoke. Neither seemed to have the words to offer, but he didn’t hang up, and she didn’t want to.

Finally, “Can I come over?”

He hesitated. “I’m at James’ right now.”

“Oh.” Her voice went quiet. “Right. Of course. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry, I’ll let you—”

“I’ll be home in an hour,” he cut her off, and her eyebrows shot up. “Think you can wait that long?”

She checked the time. It was past ten. “I suppose I don’t have anywhere to be in the morning.”

He didn’t laugh. “I’ll text you when I’m home.”

—-

IT WAS MORE than an hour later when he texted her. In fact, it had been eighty-one minutes. She'd begun to abandon her hopes when he sent— Headed home. Come by whenever.

She didn't love being on the Metro at that hour. She couldn't call an Uber. She brought nothing but her phone, wallet, and keys.

It was nearing midnight when she arrived, and ten minutes passed between when she buzzed in and when she knocked on his door. Most of them were spent standing outside working up the courage to do so.

When she finally did, he opened the door immediately.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking her up and down.

“Were you waiting by the door?”

He frowned. “It's the middle of the night, and I buzzed you in twenty minutes ago. What else would I be doing?”

She chose not to correct him on the time. “Right, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sure.”

She didn't respond at first, shifting her weight between her feet. “Can I come in?”

He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Lemme take your jacket.”

“Thanks.” The brush of his fingers against hers when he took it sent chills down her arm. She followed him inside.

“Would it be too on the nose to offer you a drink?” he asked. “I think we could both use one right about now.”

“It'd be more than welcome,” she agreed weakly, and he nodded, walking toward the kitchen. She didn't follow him right away, and he glanced back at her.

“Well, c'mon in, act like you've been here before. You know where the glasses are.”

“Right. Sorry.” She slipped off her shoes before continuing toward his cabinets. “What are we drinking?”

“Wine?”

“What kind?”

“Zinfandel.”

“Right.” She handed him two wine glasses as he took a bottle from his shelf and pulled the cork.

“Thanks,” he said. She nodded.

A moment passed in silence as he poured two glasses, and he turned his head to look at her as he put the cork back on the bottle. “Take your pick.”

“Right. Thanks.” She took the glass closest to her.

“Cheers?” he said as he picked up his glass, tilting it toward her. Her smile was tight as she clinked her glass against his. He sighed. “Relax a little. You wouldn't be here if I didn't wanna see you. You're not on trial.”

“I know,” she agreed softly, “but I did fuck up. You don't have to be this nice to me right now.”

“I know.” He took a sip of his wine. “That's what makes me such a good person.”

She rolled her eyes, and his small smile was self-satisfied. “My savior.”

“Hey, I don't wanna hear any snark from you in these circumstances,” he warned, and she shrugged.

“Then you shouldn't have invited me over.”

He raised an eyebrow. “The way I remember it, you invited yourself.”

“How rude of me.”

“I oughta kick you out just for that.” She cast him a sidelong glance as she took a sip, and amusement danced in his smiling eyes. “You wanna come sit down?”

“I… yeah. I'd love to.” They both migrated to the living room, and when she took a seat on one end of the couch, he sat beside her without hesitation. “I still feel like I owe you an apology.”

“You've apologized. Not much more you can say about that.” His tone was dismissive.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, sweetheart.” He took a heavy sip of his wine, and she frowned. “What I do want, though, is an explanation.”

“I… don't think I have much of an explanation to offer. No excuses I haven't already given you.”

“I don’t want an excuse. Why’d you do it?” he asked. “When did this start, who gave the interview? How long have you been sitting on it?”

“I can't tell you who.” Her response came quickly, and he furrowed his eyebrows. “I'm sorry, I know that's unsatisfying, but it's just not something I'm willing to break. Their anonymity, I mean.”

He hesitated a moment. “Y’know it's not your job anymore, right?”

“Yes, I'm aware.” Her voice had an edge. “But… this is about my reputation as a journalist. This is an integrity thing.”

“Whoever you're interviewing doesn't seem to have a whole lotta integrity.”

“That isn't my problem.”

“You know this affects me, yeah? I'm not asking this outta spite; I need to know who's claimin’ this.”

“I can't be the one to tell you.” Y/N pursed her lips. “I'm sorry for that. Honestly. But I can't.”

Thomas took a heavy breath. “You're not makin’ it real easy to forgive you, y'know.”

“I'm sorry,” she said quietly. Her ears rang in the silence that followed.

“Fine,” he finally said. “When did you write the article, then?”

She swallowed. “Shit… I… Almost three months ago? Maybe less?”

“Three months?” he repeated.

“I told you my editor was at the end of her rope with me delaying this. It wasn't for no reason.”

“So every time I've seen you for three months you've been sittin’ on this.”

“I mean… yeah.” She shrugged. He was watching her incredulously.

“That's all you've gotta say about it? Yeah?” Her nose crinkled at his pitchy impression of her voice. “Every time I've seen you you've just been pretending you weren't gonna destroy my reputation?”

She sighed. “It's not like that. I mean, it is, but c'mon. It's not like I've been putting on such a promising act as your fun hookup. All we've done for the past three months is fight.”

“What about that night at the diner?” he asked. “We did a whole lot other than fightin'.”

“Do you mean your rally?” she asked, and he nodded. “Thomas, I hadn't written it then. I didn't even have my source yet. I didn't know about any of this. I… it was the last time I woke up here that was the day I wrote it.”

“Don't sound so self-righteous about my question, then; you were still stayin’ over here when you were writing it.”

“I was not,” she defended. “I haven't even been here since I wrote it. After that morning, I barely saw you for weeks.”

“And apparently I shoulda kept it that way.”

“Do you want my side of the story or not?” Y/N asked weakly. “I know you're upset, but you asked me to explain. I'm just trying to fill in the blanks.”

His jaw ticked, and he sat back against the couch. “Yeah. ‘M sorry. Go on.”

“Well, the article was the reason I didn't try to see you in those weeks. At least not for anything more than a talk. I think some part of me knew from the jump that it was wrong.”

“Then why'd you do it?” he asked. She sighed.

“My career. My money. I really needed that job, and I worked so hard for it, and at first I thought I might be able to discard the article without it seeing the light, but my editor doubled down. It was obvious pretty early on that my job depended on it. I was hoping I would be valuable enough that they wouldn't fire me over it, but once it was drafted, there was no way to stop it and stay at the Post.”

Her voice shook, and she reached over to put her wine glass on his coffee table. She rested her forehead in her hands.

“I know I fucked up, but even now, some part of me feels like I made the wrong choice. What now? What's next for me? Who's even going to hire me after I quit the Post with no notice? What about my loans?”

She jumped at the feeling of his hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up at him, he looked as bewildered at her reaction as she felt.

“‘M sorry. Didn't mean to… scare you, it's not… Shit. Whatever. I'm sorry.” His fingers were stiff as he rubbed her upper back, and it drew a soft laugh from her.

“God, when did we get so awkward? It's okay, it's not your fault.” She took his hand from her shoulder, lacing her fingers into his.

“‘Course. Right. But y'know… if I'd never gone for you, you wouldn't be in this type of spot. I shoulda just left you alone from the jump.”

“That would've made both of our lives a hell of a lot easier,” Y/N agreed, and his smile was reluctant. “Too late, though. If I didn't care about you being in my life, I wouldn't have just thrown away my career for you.”

“Y’know, the campaign could always use more speech writers.”

“Not helpful.”

“I know. Sorry, sugar.” He squeezed her hand. “But your career's not down the drain. You're real smart, and you're real talented. Somebody else is gonna wanna hire you.”

“Maybe, but the industry is so tight. If word travels that I left the Post with no notice, I'll seem unreliable. Nobody wants that.”

“Somebody’ll hire you. I promise, alright?” His words held great conviction, and she could only sigh.

“Thanks, Thomas.”

He offered an encouraging smile. “‘Course.” He paused for a moment— “Now, I don't wanna reopen old wounds or anything, but I gotta ask.” She creased her brow. “Was the article the only reason you were avoidin’ me? Changin’ all your shifts at the diner, boltin’ for the door when I saw you at Lafayette's… was that all this?”

“I… I don't know.”

“Right. ‘Course, ‘m sorry for askin’. I shouldn't have brought that back up; it isn't even—”

“No, no, listen to me.” Her voice held traces of frustration. “I like you, you know I do, as if me quitting my job isn't evidence enough, but I just couldn't,” —her words were defeated— “let myself get attached to you. There's no good ending to this. The good ending was sex until the election and then neatly going our separate ways. And I fucked that up a couple different times.”

“So you didn't?” he asked. She frowned.

“Are you serious? Of course I got attached. You're all swagger and confidence, and suddenly the Republican presidential frontrunner wanted me, of all people. It all felt like a dream. It felt like too much of a dream. There's no room for dreaming in my future, only planning.”

“So you just saw it as temporary.”

She nodded. “I did. I fucked up by getting to know you, though, and you fucked up by being so much kinder and more complex than I took you to be. I didn't account for there being anything under the surface.”

He smiled softly. “Sorry, sweetheart. I'll try not to let it happen again.”

“You're too considerate.” She pulled her legs up onto the couch, sitting with them slanted at her side. “All of that to say, no, it wasn't just the article, but you did nothing wrong.”

“This is night ‘n day from you accusin’ me of trying to control you a couple weeks ago,” he pointed out, and she huffed.

“Hey, I was trying to keep us from having to figure all this out. It would've been easier if you'd given me a good reason to lose your number.”

“I'm glad I didn't.”

“I am too,” she agreed. She picked up her glass of wine, and she took a slow sip, choosing her words. “So, are we, like, good?”

He laughed. “Mhm, we're, like, good.” Y/N rolled her eyes at his impression of her voice, but when he squeezed her knee, her stomach turned. “C'mon, lighten up.”

“I don't think this is all that funny,” she protested, and he sighed.

“All is forgiven, alright? Relax. We'll laugh about this soon enough.”

“I'm not ready to laugh at it yet.”

“You'll get there.” His hand was creeping up her thigh, rubbing circles into her skin, and she frowned before covering it with hers.

“What exactly do you think you're doing here?”

He smiled as his hand tightened around her leg, fingertips pressing into the skin, and she gasped when he pulled her toward him. “Clearin’ the air.”

“You're so corny.”

“‘N I missed you. Gimme this.” He took her glass of wine out of her hand, placing both his and hers on his coffee table.

“I was drinking that.”

“‘N now you aren't. Y'know, alcohol really isn't good for you. Take it from somebody who knows.” Her eyes were wide as he pulled her legs over his lap, his hand settling on her lower back when her thighs were draped over his.

“You're invading my space, Jefferson.”

“You gonna write an article about it?” He held her face by the chin, then only inches from his. The mocking pout he offered made her roll her eyes. “Sick of seein’ that frown.”

He leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, and when she smiled at the gentle action, he turned her head to kiss her on the mouth. “There's that smile,” he said softly before kissing her again. “All I've been getting these days was your little furrowed brow,” —he swiped his thumb over the bridge of her nose— “always so angry with me. Always pouting.”

“It was for good reason.”

He snorted. “Uh huh. ‘Cause I've just been such a nuisance.”

“You've been the cause of all my stress for months now.”

“Then lemme relieve some of it.” His hand drew back to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer as he kissed across her chin and down her jaw. He hooked his other hand under her thigh. “Come here.”

She squealed when he pulled her all the way onto his lap, and she shifted to face him, tilting her head back as his lips traveled down her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck, unable to stop the little whimpers that escaped her lips as he sucked on her skin, and she squealed when he suddenly bit down hard on the skin above her collarbone.

“Thomas,” she whined as a hand flew to his hair, and she whimpered as he sucked the soft skin into his mouth, pulling her in close by the waist. The skin smarted as he pulled away, his breath heavy. “That hurt.”

“D'you mind?” He raised his eyebrows, expression flat, and she swallowed.

“No.” Her voice was small.

“Good.” His mouth returned to the skin of her chest, kissing and biting her upper breasts. He released her waist to undo the top buttons of her blouse, brow furrowed as he did so, and after a moment, he huffed and grabbed the bottom hem of her shirt. “Pick your arms up.”

“What?”

“Come on,” he said, hands slipping under the fabric around her waist, riding it up to the band of her bra. She put her arms above her head, and he immediately pulled her shirt off, discarding it absently onto the floor. He grabbed her by the waist and tossed her on her back onto the couch beside him, and she yelped when her bare back hit the cool leather, arching away from it.

When he climbed on top of her, he slipped a hand under her back to undo her bra clasp, sliding it down her obliging arms. She inhaled sharply when the cool air hit her sensitive nipples, watching him in anticipation.

“Touch yourself,” he said softly, and she raised her eyebrows.

“What?”

“C'mon, play with your tits for me. Wanna see you make yourself feel good.”

“I…” Any protest in her voice died when his lips returned to her skin, kissing down her stomach, shifting down the couch. He settled between her legs, nipping the skin above her hip lightly. He met her eyes with an expectant gaze.

She tilted her head back, arching up against her hand as she reached for her breast, pinching her nipple. Her breathing was heavy; she reached for the couch cushion behind her head with her other hand, gripping it tightly.

“Fuck.” The sound escaped her lips as a whisper as she rolled her nipple between her fingers, and her hips twitched involuntarily. Thomas’ hands ran up her bare thighs under her skirt.

“Look at me,” he demanded, and she did so with a deep breath, squeezing her breast in her hand. His heavy gaze made her squirm. “Good girl.”

The words made her groan as she took her other breast in her hand, circling the nipple with her fingertips as it hardened. Although she was watching Thomas, his eyes were fixed on her chest, and she pushed her tits together, rolling her hips toward him.

“Please touch me,” she breathed, and he smiled, pushing her skirt up to her waist.

“Do you deserve it?” He ran a finger lightly over the outside of her panties, and it brushed over her clothed clit, making her whine. She pinched both nipples, pulling her tits up her chest.

“Please. I'll behave. I'll be good for you.” She arched harder toward him. He watched with hungry eyes as she squeezed her breasts.

“Finally got tired of making trouble?” He didn't wait for an answer before pulling her panties down her legs, leaving them dangling off one of her ankles as he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her toward him. She inhaled sharply.

“So pretty,” he commented, running a finger up her slit. He smiled at the wetness that collected on his fingertip. “And so well behaved. This all for me, sweetheart?”

She moaned when he circled her clit with his thumb, and she nodded, desperately grabbing at the couch. He landed a sharp slap to her thigh, and she yelped.

“Did I say you could move your hands?” he asked, and she frowned, bringing them back to her hard nipples. “Keep ‘em there.”

She swallowed hard when he returned to her sensitive clit, rubbing it in light strokes. Her breathing was heavy, and any movement from her hands was absentminded as her chest heaved. His fingers dipped down, teasing her entrance, and when his tongue flicked her clit, she stiffened, arching involuntarily as she rolled her hips toward him. When his lips wrapped gently around her clit, his teeth scraped it, and her legs jerked. She whined.

“Fuck, please, Thomas.”

“Be patient.” His hands moved to her hips, arms hooked under her thighs to hold her legs open, and he sucked hard on her throbbing clit. She moaned, and he didn’t stop her when one of her hands flew down to the back of his head, knotting her fingers in his hair.

“Oh, god,” she groaned, and she could feel his smile grow against her skin as his tongue traced patterns on her clit. “Fuck, you’re good at that.”

“Mhm.” Her legs shook under the vibrations of his voice on his tongue.

Her eyes fell shut as her body tensed and twitched, and he didn’t let up, pushing her hips down into the couch as he worked her up. She whimpered when he released her thigh to slip a finger into her ignored pussy, curling it gently inside her.

“I need more.” Her voice was needy when she eventually spoke, her orgasm starting to build inside her. Everything was just shy of enough—his lips were too gentle, his fingers too slow, and all it did was frustrate her. Thomas didn’t respond. She huffed, but she could only stay quiet another moment. “Please?”

He pursed his lips as he lifted his head to look up at her. “You think you need more?”

“Yes, I do,” she whined. “I can’t cum like this.”

“What d’you need?”

“Just… more, please,” she said desperately. “Harder, or faster, or… something. Just… more.”

“Oh yeah?” He added another finger to her dripping pussy, and she gasped. His fingers pumped quickly in and out of her. “You need more?”

“Yeah, yeah, just like that. Oh, god.” She moaned, dropping her head back onto the couch, and his lips returned to her clit. She squealed. “That’s so good. Just like that.”

He sucked her clit hard into his mouth, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, and her hips jerked uncontrollably against him, chasing her orgasm. Her eyes rolled back when he curled his fingers inside her. “Fuck, Thomas, I’m close.”

“Yeah?” he murmured against her, and he lifted his head. “You gonna cum for me? You almost there?”

“Yeah,” she moaned, and his tongue returned to her clit. Her legs were shaking in his grasp, and one of her hands gripped his hair while the other sank into the couch cushions, scrambling to ground her. “I’m so close, fuck, don’t stop, I’m gonna—”

She was cut off abruptly by her own loud whine as he pulled back from her entirely, and she could feel her building orgasm dissipate. “No, no, no, please, I need—”

“Who said any of this was about you, hm?” He raised an eyebrow as he lifted his head between her legs, and her hold on his hair loosened. Her deep-seated pout didn’t stop him. “Do you think you deserve to cum right now? After everything you did?”

“You said we were all good,” she protested, and he hummed in agreement.

“‘N I feel great right now. Don’t think I see the issue.” She groaned when he sat up, running his hands up her thighs. “Should be real grateful I’m not still upset with you. I could be doin’ a whole lot worse than this right now.”

“What, you want me to thank you?” she said dryly, propping herself on her hands as she sat up. Thomas pulled her closer by the thighs as he raised his eyebrows. “...Do you?”

“I mean, some manners would go a long way. I’ve been awful generous toward you, sweetheart.”

“I’ve said please.”

“‘N I don’t owe you anything for that,” he said, looking her in the eye as his thumb circled her clit. “You don’t have any kinda control over me. You don’t own me.”

If it weren’t for the punch in his tone, she wouldn’t have realized he was throwing her own words back at her, and she exhaled heavily. “C’mon, play nice.”

“I’ve been plenty nice to you.” His hands ghosted down her legs to her calves, and she sighed. “If anybody has reason to be upset, I’m pretty damn sure it’s me.”

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. He looked her over for a moment, and he swung his legs over the side of the couch to stand, making her furrow her brow. When he reached his feet, she followed suit, “Hey, wait don’t—” She squealed when he leaned down suddenly to throw her over his shoulder, holding her by her legs.

“It’s alright sugar, I know you’re sorry. Think it’s my job to make you sorry, though.”

She groaned. “Put me down, let’s just talk about this first.”

“Don’t think so.” She squeaked when he pinched the back of her bare thigh, reaching around to swat his hand away. Her eyes widened as she recognized the door to his room retreating behind them as he walked through his apartment, and she yelped when he threw her down onto his mattress. “We’ve talked plenty, haven’t we?”

He didn’t waste any time before loosening his tie, and when she scrambled backwards on the mattress, he grabbed her by the ankle to pull her toward him. “Where the hell d’you think you’re going?”

“I don’t want this to be how we resolve this; we should—”

“D’you know your safeword?”

“...Red.”

“Then shut the hell up.”

Her chest heaved as she watched him undo the buttons on his shirt, but her gaze fell to the growing bulge in his crotch all the while. He seemed to pay her little mind, barely sparing her a glance as he pushed his shirt down his shoulders. His undershirt was tight, and when he joined her on the mattress, climbing atop her, her hands drifted to its lower hem, pulling it out of the waist of his pants.

“You should take this off,” she said softly, and he kissed her bare shoulder.

“Don't think I will.”

She huffed, and he reached for the waistband of her skirt. When he tried to pull it down, it caught on her hips, and he furrowed his brow. “Where the hell's the zipper on this thing?”

It was without warning when he grabbed her hips to flip her onto her stomach, and she yelped when he immediately pulled her hips back toward him to pull down the zipper of her skirt. He pushed her flat on her stomach to pull it down her legs, and when he did, she pushed her torso up to turn and look at him.

“Why am I the only one naked?” she asked, and he pushed her chest back down onto the bed with a firm hand between her shoulder blades. He slapped her ass absentmindedly.

“Relax. I'll take care of you.”

Although she huffed, her heart was racing as he ran a hand down her bare back. She twitched when his fingers dipped between her bare legs, and she parted them reflexively. The pads of his fingers were warm as they ran up her slit.

“So wet.” His tone was condescending. “So pretty.”

It was abrupt when he grabbed her by the thighs, pushing her to her knees, and he parted her legs by the calves. She braced herself on her forearms, arching her back, and he hummed agreeably. It was nervously that she glanced back at him, and she found him settling on his knees between her legs.

“You okay?” he asked softly. He kissed her bare lower back, and her tense shoulders softened. He leaned over her to kiss the back of her shoulder, and she felt his hard, clothed dick against her ass. She whined.

“Thomas, please, just fuck me.” She pushed herself back against him, shaking her hips. She dragged her ass down against his boner. “Don’t you want to?”

He hummed absently. “I’ll think about it.”

“Come on,” she pleaded, voice breaking. “Don’t make me wait any longer; I need you, I need you now.”

He laughed. “Aw, sugar, that badly?”

“Please?” she said softly.

“Yeah, alright.” The clang of him undoing his belt made her heart rate jump. The smooth sound of leather against fabric, and then the muted thud of the buckle hitting the floor. When she felt his dick tap her clit, sliding against her center, her hips twitched, and when his tip gently nudged her entrance, she pushed her hips desperately back against his, and he let her.

She could only take half of him on her own, and with a hand on the small of her back, he pushed himself the rest of the way in. She groaned.

“Fuck, that’s deep,” she said. He hummed in amusement, rolling his hips against hers, and she whimpered. “God, please move. Please?”

“Mhm.” When he began to thrust into her, it was shallow at first, and his pace was slow. Impatient, she snapped her hips back against his, fucking herself on his dick, and he moaned. “Yeah, just like that, sweetheart. Keep going.”

Although she did so vigorously, fists twisting in the sheets to brace herself to feel him deeper, he grabbed her by the hips, pulling them back at his own pace. As it quickened, she went limp in his grasp, doing her best to keep matching his movements, but her actions grew increasingly pathetic as he took control. He slapped her ass, gripping the meat of it.

It was a moment later when he grew impatient, grabbing her by the waist to push her down into the mattress. She squeaked as she lost her hold on the sheets she had been gripping for leverage, her cheek squished into the mattress beside her hands.

“Jesus, you feel good,” he grunted, leaning over her. His pace quickened, and she gasped. “You like that? You like it when I hold you down and fuck you?”

“Yeah,” she whined. “‘S good.”

“Yeah? You missed me blowing your back out? Huh?” He slapped her ass, and she squealed. “Say it.”

“Missed it. Fuck, please, I missed you,” she said. “So good. You’re so good.”

“Yeah, good girl,” he cooed, leaning over her back. He kissed her shoulder as he weaved a hand into her hair, and she whimpered when he pulled it back with a tight grip at the roots. Her head lifted off the mattress, mouth agape. “Taking it so good for me. So well behaved.”

His lips latched onto her shoulder, sucking her skin into his mouth, and she sagged against the mattress, eyes rolling back when his teeth sank lightly into it. When he pulled away, the skin was red and smarting. He kissed the resultant mark.

“Thomas, I need more,” she pleaded. “I can’t cum like this. Please, touch me.”

“Beg for it,” he said, releasing her hair, and she groaned.

“Please, please, I’ve been so good. I’ll be good for you, Thomas, anything you want,” she pleaded, and he hummed, his thrusts growing increasingly aggressive. His grip returned to her waist, pushing her down. “Need you, need you, need you.”

Her words were muffled as her face was against the sheets, and the movement of his hips against hers was becoming frantic.

“Keep going,” he panted, accelerating his thrusts, and she could feel that he was growing sloppy, beginning to lose his rhythm.

“Fuck, I’m desperate, touch me, make me come. You’re the only one I need; you’re the only one I want, but please, I need you.”

“Yeah? You need me? How bad?”

“So badly.” Her words were nearly a cry. “Please?”

“Fuck, I’m close,” he groaned, and she let out a broken whine.

“Please, let me cum, touch me,” she begged, and he leaned forward, pushing her down by her upper back. For only a moment, she could barely breathe as his hips hammered against hers.

“Oh, god, sweetheart.” His hips stilled against hers as he came, and after a moment, he released his hold on her back, leaning over her to kiss down her spine. She let out a shaky breath as he ran a gentle hand across her hip. “That was so good.”

“Mhm.” Her response was bitter and short, and he chuckled.

“What’s wrong, sugar?” He kissed her shoulder as he pulled out, and she didn’t respond, only going limp as she lay on the mattress. “Cat got your tongue?”

“‘M fine,” she said roughly. He hummed skeptically.

“Yeah?” His hands ran up her lower back, and he grabbed her by the hips to turn her over on the bed. She met his eyes with an impatient gaze. “C’mon, what’s the problem?”

As he settled between her legs on the mattress, she tensed, and his grip on her thighs was gentle.

“Thomas.” Her voice was warning.

“Mhm?” He blinked up at her innocently as he grabbed her hips, pushing them back.

“Please don’t tease,” she breathed, and he kissed her stomach softly, moving toward her center.

“When have I ever?” he asked, and when she rolled her eyes, he grinned. “Relax. I didn’t forget about you.”

“Thank god,” she murmured, and she jerked when his thumb brushed over her already-sensitive clit. She whimpered when he rolled it under the pad of his finger.

“This what you meant when you said you wanted me to touch you?” His fingers dipped down to her soaked entrance, gathering both their cum before returning to her slick clit. Her hips twitched away from his hand, and he frowned mockingly. “Aw, sweetheart, are you sure you're not too sensitive? Maybe I should stop, I don't wanna push your limits.”

“No,” she groaned. “No more teasing. I need to cum.”

“You're making demands now?” His thumb was flicking her clit back and forth as he raised an eyebrow at her, and she pouted. Her hips rolled against the pattern of his movement.

“Please. I've been good.”

“Yeah, you have.” He kissed her thigh, and when his tongue took the place of his fingers on her clit, she let out a heavy sigh.

“Oh, fuck.” Her voice shook. He pushed one tentative finger inside her, but she was sore enough that she barely felt it. “Keep going.”

It was easy to lose herself in the feeling as he picked and sucked at her clit, curling his fingers inside her, and with how sensitive she already was, her orgasm built quickly. She could feel her pulse in her center, and her cunt tightened sporadically around his long fingers.

“So tight,” he commented, moving a finger back to her clit, and she groaned at the loss of feeling. “Such a perfect cunt. And you've been so good, so obedient.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, hands twisting into his sheets as he worked her over.

“You gonna keep being good for me if I let you cum, sweetheart?” he asked, flicking the tip of her clit lightly, and her breathing was short. She nodded frantically.

“I'm close, I'm close, I'm close.” The words were a whine, and when he returned to rubbing circles into her clit, she let out a squeak.

“That feel good?”

“So good,” she whimpered.

“Cum for me, then.” His grip on her hip tightened; the pace of his finger accelerated, and that was all she needed to send her over the edge. Her whole body tensed, back arching and legs stiffening as she came, and she was panting as she came down from it.

He didn't stop the movement of his hand against her. As she squirmed under his touch, she had to reach down and take him by the wrist.

“No more,” she pleaded breathlessly. “I can't take any more.”

He chuckled as he moved away, kissing down her leg. “Alright. No more. You were good for me.”

She hummed softly in response, and his hands came to rest on her calves just below her knees as her eyelids drooped.

“You okay?” he asked, and she sighed.

“I'm okay.” She rolled her head to one side to look down at him. “Does this mean we're good?”

He chuckled and kissed her knee. “I'll get over it.”

“Yeah?” She reached for his hand when he came to sit beside her on the mattress, and he turned his head to look at her when she gave it a squeeze. His smile was halfhearted.

“Yeah.” He turned back to look at the ceiling. “I did miss you. It's worth having you back.”

“I feel the same,” she said softly.

“‘M gonna find some pajamas and a rag real quick; you want me to grab you something to wear?”

She sighed, pushing herself off of the bed to sit up. “Yeah. Thanks. Don't bother with a rag, though, I should pee anyway.”

“Alright. Be back in a minute.” He sat up to kiss her forehead, taking her face in his hands as he did so, but when he pulled back, he didn't move for a moment, just watching her. His thumb swept over her cheek. “Alright.”

She swallowed when he stood to go to his closet, and she followed suit, heading to the bathroom. After she used it, she eyed her mussed hair in the mirror while she washed her hands, and her gaze settled on the hickies on her neck. She sighed and turned the water off.

Thomas wasn't back yet when she went to bed, but she was cold and so burrowed into one side of the sheets regardless. He would return minutes later with clothes for them both, but she was already beginning to drift off, the fatigue of the day weighing her down.

It was at the corner of her consciousness that she heard him come in and chuckle when he saw her. The sheets were pulled up to her cheekbone. She didn't stir when he dipped down to kiss the side of her head, taking his spot in the bed beside her.

“G’night, sweetheart,” he whispered. She didn't move. Her breathing was slow. “Love you.”

The words didn't break her rest, but she heard them. She also heard him hesitate and inhale harshly, and she heard the way his voice slowed when he, again, said, “I love you.”

She would wake up and write it off as a dream.